Practical Joke
by jammyjamfan
Summary: "Dr Isles. The first instruction was for you and Jane to go to a specific restaurant downtown tonight." Maura is led to believe she has to follow certain instructions unaware it is Jane giving the instructions. What will Jane make her do and how far will she go and where will it take them both. Will Maura find out? Will there be rizzles?
1. Chapter 1

So this is a random idea. This is absolutely all I have written so far (I know I said i wouldn't post stories unless I knew the plot or until completion cause I find it a bit stressful but so far it has worked out for me and you guys have liked it so what the heck!) I do have a teeny tiny idea of direction but thought i'd test my fav audience to see if it was any good so far.

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Practical Joke  
Chapter one

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The idea had occurred to Jane some weeks ago and it played on her mind. It would be a hilarious if not elaborate practical joke to play on Maura.

It first popped into Jane's mind as her and Maura sat at a cafe one day when the department was under investigation, and Maura had eyed everyone in the room thinking that they where the FED's watching her. Of course Jane had been simply joking when she said that the ugly dude sitting at the bar was a federal agent and so was the guy sitting at the other end of the room, but, right before Jane had rolled her eyes and Maura had realized Jane was joking...that moment when Maura's eyes had widened in fear and surprise and she had asked 'Really?'...Jane realized she could have played it out for hours, maybe even weeks.

She knew Maura was smarter than her in so many ways and maybe there was a hint of revenge in her mind from all the times Maura had shown Jane up in public. Like the time Maura called Jane 'hoi polloi' and laughed that Jane didn't know the meaning. Or when Maura had told Jane how garret was correctly pronounced in front of everyone.

Now all she wondered was how far she could push Maura before she was found out.

It was the sort of joking she often did with her brothers. That they would all laugh about later. Once Jane and Frankie had convinced Tommy that milk did not come from cows anymore and was now made in milk factories. They drove past a milk factory and Frankie pointed it out to add evidence to their story. They kept up this game and Tommy believed it for roughly two months before he was embarrassed at school because of his naivety.

But Maura was an only child and more gullible than most which under usual circumstances was a rather endearing quality.

Jane also knew Maura was smart enough to know she shouldn't always trust Jane on everything, that Jane was a very good liar, and although Jane knew what she was planning was wrong, she justified it under the fact that Maura was smarter than her, just not in this way.

And so she planned out her little joke with a tiny bit of help from her co-workers, but not enough help that they would tell on her, or stop her.

"Maura, why is I.A. looking for you?" Jane questioned Maura as they passed outside the division one cafe.

Maura can't hide her surprise, "Internal Affairs? I didn't know they were."

"I just came from upstairs and they want to talk to you but won't tell me why. They said they are waiting for you. In room 10. I assumed Cavanaugh would have told you."

Maura frowns at Jane for a moment as she checks her phone.

"No one said a thing to me, or called."

Jane shrugs hiding her relief that so far Maura is buying it, "Well maybe they only just arrived. Should I be worried about you? Did you do something?"

Maura shakes her head, "I can't think of any reason at all so, no, you need not worry. I'm sure it's nothing." She gives Jane a weak smile and heads towards the elevator.

The moment Maura is out of sight Jane bee-lines for the stairs and quickly jogs the two flights up and closes the door behind her just as the elevator dings and the doors open with Maura inside.

Jane watches through the two way glass as Maura enters the empty room and looks around confused.

"Dr Maura Isles?" A deep crackly distorted voice fills the room making Maura jump.

"Yes." She says composing herself and searching for the location of the voice.

"Please have a seat." The semi-computerized voice says

Maura looks towards the door first and then scans the room, "Who are you?"

"That's confidential at this point. Sit down please."

Maura slides onto the metal chair and is now directly facing Jane but unable to see her.

"Everything that is discussed in this room is to be kept in strict confidence. Do you understand?"

"I suppose."

"You are to speak to absolutely no-one about this including your superiors. Do you agree?"

Maura thinks for a moment before answering, "Fine."

Jane presses the button on the microphone that distorts her voice and gives the next order, "Tell me everything you know about Detective Jane Rizzoli, badge number, victor eight two five."

"Who are you really?" Maura squints in the direction of the two way glass and Jane freezes like Maura can see her.

"What do you want with Jane?"

"That is not your concern."

Maura frowns, "What is this about?" She is not about to betray her friend if she can help it.

"I can't say Dr. Isles. But she might be in danger."

Maura raises one eyebrow at this, "Danger. Who? Hoyt?"

"We will be the one's asking the questions Dr. Isles."

"Ok. Well...Jane Rizzoli is loyal, kind and not afraid of anything. She is dedicated to her job and to justice."

Jane smiles softly, she loves the way Maura views her, "Anything else?"

Maura looks at the ceiling while she thinks, "I suppose she could dress a bit better, more femininely."

Jane's smile drops and she rolls her eyes and clears her throat.

"Right. And you spend a lot of time with her?"

"I suppose, yes."

"Do you enjoy spending time with her?"

Maura sits up straighter looking shocked, "That is a rather inappropriate question."

"It still requires an answer."

Maura starts to rotate the ring around her finger nervously, "Yes, I do. That is _obviously_ why I spend time with her."

Jane hides her smirk so it doesn't show in her voice, "Is she the sort of person that might take matters into her own hands?"

"I'm sure you have read her file."

"Dr. Isles, It is our understanding that you know her better than anything on file."

Maura growls under her breath, she is not enjoying this but she can't lie and she desperately wants to protect Jane. "Yes. She has been known too"

"There was a situation where she shot herself which is technically against police procedure. Is it usual for her to do things in a way that puts her and others in danger?"

"No" Maura says scratching the back of her neck nervously, "I mean she had to do that to save her brother...and me."

"There was a situation where you hired a bodyguard for her that she evaded several times. Would you say that is a typical behavior of hers?"

"There were extenuating circumstances."

"Are there always extenuating circumstances?"

"Are you profiling her?"

There is no reply and the silence is not helping Maura understand.

"I suppose. I still don't understand what this has to do with Jane being in danger. Why don't you just tell her she is in danger?"

"Dr. Isles. A party has sent threats regarding Detective Rizzoli with strict instructions that she is to not be made aware of this danger."

"Who?"

"We aren't entirely sure at this stage but have all our best people working on it. However, we need your co-operation. Your professionalism. And your discretion."

"Oh. I see." Maura shifts in her chair

"And this un-sub has requested certain things of yourself also."

"Like?"

"The first instruction was for you both to go to a specific restaurant downtown at a specific time. Tonight. This is possibly the un-sub's way of testing if he had control."

Maura plays with her fingers as she listens to the strange inhuman computer voice.

"We have already made reservations so you only need to show up. And convince Jane to go without telling her why. We will send you the address. You can message us back on the same number if you need anything."

"Right." Maura says wondering if she can do this without going vasovagal.

"The instructions also suggest if any changes are made to Detective Rizzoli's routine, other than their instructions, that some-one will be harmed. That is why it is imperative that you do not say anything about this to anyone, especially her."

"I see." Maura swallows. She realizes this is more serious than she had thought and she rubs her sweaty hands together in impatience.

"That's why it is a good thing they chose you."

Maura looks up at the glass again.

"Because you know her so well. And...we are told that she listens to you."

"Not all the time."

"View this as an undercover assignment."

Silence fills the air.

"We will have undercover agents watching you both 24/7."

Maura bites her nail in concentration.

"You will need to carry on with you regular duties as well so suspicion is not aroused with Jane or within the department."

Jane watches as Maura seems to be struggling to take it all in.

"Can we depend on you to help us help her?"

"Yes." Maura says without having to think about it.

"We will contact you with the instructions we receive from the un-sub. We need you to follow them exactly. And not a word to anyone. Are we clear?"

Maura's heart starts to beat a little faster as the gravity of the situation sinks in, "Of course." She says in her most professional tone.

As soon as Maura exits room 10 her phone alerts her that she has a message. Her legs are shaking a little as she pulls out her phone. The text is from a number she doesn't recognize.

 _Reservation at 7pm. The Dinner Box. 108 Barker Street._

Maura pulls the handle on the viewing room but it is locked from the inside. She feels like it is some sort of bizarre dream but knows she will feel it if she pinches herself. She takes the elevator down one floor and walks into the bullpen. Jane walks across the room from the water filter to her desk and sits down at her desk to go through some files. Maura resists the urge to walk over but feels relieved Jane is safe right now and nothing is out of the ordinary. As she turns back towards the elevator she almost collides with Korsak.

"Oh Hi Maura. You alright?"

"Yes. I was just going downstairs."

"Did you need something?"

"No I...I forgot something." She says as she stares at the floor and walks back into the elevator leaving a confused Korsak scratching his head.

As the door starts to close she can see Jane swiveled in her chair facing Maura and Korsak. She see's a worried expression staring at her and remembers it was Jane that told her about I.A. So she forces a confident smile out so Jane won't follow her downstairs. She can't tell Jane why she was meeting I.A and she doesn't want Jane to ask. She needs a story so she doesn't have to lie and so she isn't ready to face Jane just yet.

The elevator dings indicating she has reached the basement and she makes her way to her office locking the door behind her and sinks to her knees to take the relief off her wobbly legs and lets out a long sigh.

She sits there for at least 10 minutes before she can get up and go about her day.

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...To be continued?... Sorry its a bit rough

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I am thinking this be be a little bit like 'true lies'...Jane will realise she adores spending time with Maura and abuse her new found power to get as close as possible to her. Could end in rizzles or Maura feeling utter betrayal. Will Maura figure it out? Who knows? certainly not me.  
Would love your thoughts on it.

Please also note that through my own stupidity I have now started 3 different stories (including this one). I guess a bunch of creativity hit all at once. One story which i am excited about will be my first attempt alternate reality story and will be at this stage like a blinking novel. The other thing I am working on are more mini-stories of Jane and Maura and their separate childhoods (which I will add to 'changing the world'). So chapters on this If it continues may be slow.


	2. Chapter 2

_So I actually thought i was stuck...I wrote chapter 2 about 5 times and it sucked. It really sucked. All five times._

 _It was forced and aweful and I thought, 'I must secretly pull this story, well that one chapter, because I had had a concept but no flow or heart into chapter 2.'  
_ _I had been trying to make it so step by step sequential...arrive, talk, eat, blah blah blah. Since when has that ever worked for me. hahaha._

 _But suddenly...no idea how or why... I got this._ _a random spot works...just one line...and I'm back in the swing...for chapter 2 at least. Fingers crossed for the next one to smack me hard in the head :D Don't hold yr breath tho...CH3 might also take a bit as this genre doesn't come as easily as suspense, drama and cliffhangers seem to. :/_

 _Well...Happy reading my lovely fans...  
and give me some ideas already...sheesh!_

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 _'_ _WELL DONE DR ISLES.'_

Maura sighs in relief as she reads the text. The last seventy minutes at the out-of-the-way cosy restaurant with Jane had been extraordinarily stressful. Between trying to avoid Jane's repetitive question about why they are there and looking around for danger, she is quite sure she has aged a year.

Jane nipped off to the bathroom a few minutes ago and the text pinged her phone to let her know she has completed her mission.

She had Jane there and on time and without any suspicion.

Finally she can breathe.

Finally she can feel the hot itchy sensation burning under her collar begin to vanish.

She rubs her neck anyway feeling the tiny bumps under her touch. She couldn't itch or touch her neck before with Jane's sharp and inquisitive eyes watching her closely as she fumbled and stammered her way around the truth for the third time. Jane almost seemed to be enjoying her discomfort.

There was also that guy at the bar that Jane kept looking at. She had been torn between concern and frustration. Concern he might be an undercover agent that Jane had worked with or recognized and once revealed it would blow the whole thing. But then there was the possibility that Jane fancied the guy...which frustrated Maura because she couldn't quite understand why she wished it was the former. Jane had fancied lots of guys before and it never bothered her. She put it down to the additional risk on Jane's life right now...how impractical a love interest would be given the current circumstances. She knew that wasn't quite true but didn't intend to delve deeper right at this particular juncture. Right now she wanted to focus on Jane's safety.

Jane who had been in the bathroom a rather long time.

Her heart skipped a beat and her mouth went dry as her rational brain tried to specify exactly how long Jane had been gone and how long she might practically need.

A text from IA, or whoever she was communicating with, that the perp was happy did not mean said perp had not chosen this restaurant in order to carry out whatever evil he had planned right here in this moment when Jane was alone in the bathroom.

Maura's eye's went wide with the realization and she pushed her chair back as delicately as she could with as much speed as she could without drawing attention to herself.

She turned and tried to gracefully rush towards the ladies rooms only to collide with a waiter immediately. A cold clear liquid rushed at her silk blouse like a miniature waterfall and although it was her own fault the young waiter apologized profusely.

"It's alright." Maura said giving him only a quick smile before heading towards the bathroom, her cold wet chest and water-stained top already forgotten.

Her feet stung after only a few steps and she internally frowned at her logic of wearing five inch heels into a situation where she might have to run, attack or any combination of the two.

The additional eight steps to the bathroom were excruciating forcing Maura to swear to permanently discard the shoes as soon as she got home.

She swung the door open harder than she meant and watched Jane spin towards the door while reaching for her belt where her gun usually hides.

They stared at each other both wide eyed and panicked, Maura being the first to sigh in relief at seeing Jane alone and perfectly fine other than a little startled.

"You're alright." Maura informs them both pressing her hand to her own heart relieved.

Jane takes a moment more to relax, "Why wouldn't I be?"

As the automatic response leaves her lips she realizes what Maura must have thought and has the tiniest stab of guilt forcing her to swallow.

"Oh, er...nothing." Maura replies forcing a smile, "I needed to use the ladies myself."

Jane's eyes wander to Maura's chest noticing the wet discoloration on the blouse, "Riiiight."

Jane then turns to finish washing her hands. And Maura notices Jane's keys and phone on the counter beside another phone that is definitely not Jane's.

"What's that?" Maura asks innocently.

Jane forgets she is facing a mirror when she looks at what Maura is pointing towards, her eyes grow wide and her jaw tense. She opens her mouth to reply but not a word comes out.

"That's not your phone." Maura informs her taking a step closer to investigate.

"I...no...I..." Jane replies stalling as her brain fires off possible reasons and simultaneously dismissing them.

"Why do you have two phone's Jane?" Maura asks with a deep frown and a slight head tilt.

Jane grabs the phone and turns to Maura holding it behind her back clutching it tightly like it might speak and reveal a secret. Maura can still see the phone in the mirrors reflection and she looks deeply into Jane's eyes for an answer, "What's going on Jane?"

No words still until finally an excuse Jane actually can use pops into her head, "It's a suspects phone..." Jane hangs her head to the side, "It's...um...evidence."

"What is it doing here?"

"I forgot to turn it over before I left." Jane says biting her lip with fake guilt and hoping she sounds convincing.

Maura pauses for a moment before she shakes her head with a frown of concern, "Oh dear...Jane...You could get in serious trouble. The correct protocols must be followed so evidence can be used in court."

Jane nods feebly while looking at her feet, "I know. I forgot."

Maura steps closer and reaches out to touch Jane's arm, "It's ok, I won't tell anyone Jane. I've got your back."

Jane looks up quickly and into unsuspecting sincere gullible honest green eyes and whispers, "Thank you."

The thank you is not entirely for the reason Maura thinks it is, but that Maura didn't suspect Jane at all. Sweet, sincere and smart Maura. She didn't ask what suspect or what case. And Jane realizes that Maura trusts her even if things don't add up. And for that trust she is grateful...and equally guilty.

Maura puts her hand on Jane's shoulder and squeezes gently, "I will _always_ have your back Jane."

Jane forces a smile and says the first honest thing she has said all night, "I don't deserve such a wonderful friend as you, Maura."

Maura shakes her head, "Don't be silly. Of course you do."

"Nuh. I really don't. By the way...what happened to your blouse?"

Maura glances at herself in the mirror, "Oh my goodness. Yes. I need some club soda. I had a minor collision with a server carrying beverages."

"I'll get you some soda." Jane says quickly as she turns and heads out the door towards the kitchen, pleased she can get away from the intensity of her building guilt for a few moments.

Out in the hall she bites her lip as she glares at the offending phone, the text to Maura staring back at her, 'Well done Dr Isles'. She grits her teeth and switches it off silently promising to put an end to her little game immediately.

A few minutes later Jane returns to the bathroom with the club soda in one hand and some clean cloth serviettes in the other only to find Maura in her bra with her silk blouse discarded in the basin.

The thing about wall mirrors on all four walls is that, even if you look away as soon as you brain connects the dots, you can't stop seeing something that, in Janes mind, is sacred. Jane turns three times before she simply closes her eyes. But Maura, being less modest, gives a quick sniffle at the ruined blouse, not even noticing the bright pink blush across Jane's face as she tries to hand Maura the items with closed eyes.

"It's ruined." Maura states with a sigh.

Jane presses her lips together trying to force herself to care about a stupid item of clothing because Maura cares. She cannot think of an appropriate thing to say.

"It's fine." Maura encourages herself, "It doesn't matter. It's just a top."

She looks at Jane who is staring at the floor intently, "What's wrong Jane?"

"You're, uh, topless Maur." Jane replies weakly, her cheeks get redder as her eyes flicker up and quickly back to the floor.

"Oh Jane, don't be such a prude, I'm wearing a bra. It's not like you've never seen women topless before. Give me your jacket to wear home...it would be to disgraceful to wear this blouse in public now."

"Really?" Jane looks up catching Maura's partially bare chest and looking at her feet again, "Yet wearing my far to large jacket with nothing underneath is somehow alright?" Jane asks sarcasm mixed with surprise.

"I'm wearing a bra Jane. Honestly. If I hadn't met your mother I would think you were raised by the Amish."

Jane holds her tongue because the truth is, women in bras means nothing to her, but Maura showing that much skin means...something...

Jane slips her jacket off and hands it to Maura without looking. Bare skin and reflections of bare skin cause her heart to beat faster and her skin to feel uncontrollably hot.

And when Maura is covered she nudges Jane in the arm, "I'm decent now silly."

Jane growls at Maura's laugh and looks up with a squint, already prepared with an array of funny quips about how Maura looks in her jacket, only to swallow them heavily when she see's how stunning her friend actually looks in it. Blonde locks falling loosely over dark wide shoulders and the glowing soft skin and alluring edges of full breasts showing delicately between the lapels of her collar. The sleeves now unbuttoned are far too long but seeming to be so done on purpose. And the hem line, stopping right at the top of Maura's thigh, looking like a perfectly tailored lengthy coat fitting her loosely yet perfectly. If Maura was in only undergarments on her bottom half she would be the hottest calendar picture with hundreds of guys lined up around the block to just catch a glimpse of it. Jane turns crimson at the image of it.

She can't help but think she might never get her coat back and she doesn't care.

"Mmmm, it smells quite nice." Maura remarks innocently pressing the warm collar to her nose, "So, Jane, shall we get dessert before we go?"

And Jane, with sweaty palms and her brain numb to everything else, wholly straight and interested in just men, follows Maura back towards the dining room without a word.

The rest of that amazing night at dinner is why Jane, almost immediately, reneges on her internal promise to end her little game. She isn't even completely sure why. Sure she could pick the restaurants she wanted to go to, ones that had items on the menu she could pronounce and sides like deep fried cheese instead of weird disgusting things like fish eggs and snails. Sure there are so many fun activities she wanted to do with Maura instead of *yawn* art museums, art galleries and all other types of museums and galleries and art stuff.

But suddenly it's more...much more. Unexplainably so.

It's something about spending time alone with Maura that appeals to her. More than ever before.

It's a shared dessert with a fork fight for the last bite. It's an innocent touch on the lower back just as they leave. It's a peaceful and relaxed car ride together back to the precinct so Jane can 'drop off the evidence before she gets in trouble'. It's a joke about the dead people fridge followed by a silent soft look that happily lasts just a little bit long. And it's staying over at Maura's for the night because Jane suddenly can't let her jacket out of her sight, and waking up to a gentle snore and an arm thrown across her waist in the night. And, already in one night, this game gives her the means to spend as much time with Maura as she should desire. And Jane would deny it, but she desires as much time as she can get. Maura would never say no if she thought it was helping Jane. Maura would work less and delegate more for this cause. And suddenly, deep deep down in Jane's subconscious, she is no longer playing a practical joke on her gorgeous best friend. Somehow Maura is saving Jane from herself.

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to be continued...

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hope you like it


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you for the comments, reviews and encouragement...plus the patience.  
I don't think writing non-dramatic fun type stuff is really my forte.  
I was really hoping that ideas would flow in from my wonderful readers that would help me to fudge my way through this to make it into something semi-decent. But my wonderful readers/reviewers have been oddly silent on the ideas front. So I am muddling my way through, verrrrryyyy slowwwwllllllyyyy with some rather cheesy ideas. But at least it's only for a bit of fun...  
Which reminds me...not giving ya'll cliffhangers is really REALLY killing me...lol.  
Please enjoy, be honest, and if you do hate it then gimme some awesome ideas :D

xxx Jam

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 **CHAPTER 3**

Jane was in a sort of paradise.

Whatever she wanted to do whenever she wanted to do it.

Not having to do any of the things she didn't enjoy.

And best of all, hanging out with her super smart, supportive and funny best friend.

Of course she was respectful of Maura's other activities, events and work as well as space she might need.

Of course she didn't select activities she knew for sure that Maura would hate.

Guilt over the lies creating this paradise wouldn't allow her to even think about overindulging.

And of course she paid for most of it herself...unless Maura fought hard enough to pay, or did so in secret.

And when they did argue at the checkout or counter over who would pay, Jane even found that enjoyable, like they were a couple.

And best of all, Maura mostly agreed to go just because Jane asked her.

No text instructions needed given.

Jane didn't want to question whether it was Maura being protective or whether Maura enjoyed hanging out with her.

She probably didn't want to know the answer.

Why ruin paradise.

So they had been to the batting cages. That had been Jane's absolute highlight event.  
She loved that place almost as much as the punching bag at the gym.  
Maura wore the wrong shoes even though Jane explicitly said to wear running shoes or flats, as so she looked comical in the low heels with the helmet, face guard and gloves.  
Maura complimented her technique.  
And Jane performed better than ever, she always liked having an audience, ever since playing little league.  
She had some really good strikes in there that she was proud of herself.  
Then they had an unhealthy snack.  
And then when it was Maura's turn, Jane was able to help her.  
Finally Jane can get rid of the Pee-wee Herman 'optimal' batting stance that Maura uses.  
She shows Maura how to stand, and then adjusts Maura's stance, touching her shoulder to indicate lowering it, the elbow raises, the head tilted a bit more.

The first two swings are terrible and Jane presses her lips together to stop a giggle coming out.  
The third and fourth are a little better.  
Jane steps right in behind Maura, her front pressing into Maura's back. In that moment she is glad Maura isn't wearing her skin-tight wind-resistant suit.  
One hand on Maura's stomach to adjust the posture and with the other she grips the bottom of the bat and glides it down slightly.  
She can feel Maura's entire body against hers and it feels nice. Jane thinks maybe they should play pool later. Jane can help her with that game too. And darts perhaps.

"Relax." She whispers in Maura's ear.

The thunk and whoosh of the ball coming out of the machine is met by the clunk of a swinging bat.  
"Home run" Jane laughs over Maura's squeal of excitement, "Well done."  
Maura jumps up and down on the spot and give's Jane a sort of hug, jumping and hugging is never easy.  
When she lets go, the clunk and whoosh sound reminds Jane that the machine is still on.  
No time to react as the ball hits her helmet knocking her into the cage before she slides to the ground.  
When her eyes opened Maura was leaning over her asking her how many fingers she was holding up.  
She lied. And so she got some extra doctor attention.  
But she was fine really, and when Maura realized she was playing Jane got a good solid thump in the arm.  
They both laughed and Maura helped her to her feet.  
Best date...uh...outing...ever.

A few days later they went to a small clothing and craft market.  
Jane thought Maura would like it, and she did.  
So many textures and materials and styles to touch and see.  
Jane brought matching embroidered bracelets for them, made by some children.  
"These are friendship bracelets Maur. We each wear one to symbolize our friendship."  
She suddenly felt like she was five again, but Maura accepted hers with a huge grin and put it on straight away.  
"I've always wanted one. I've never had one before. Thank you Jane."  
Jane blushes from the neck up at the thank you kiss on her cheek that followed.  
Best date...uh...outing...ever.

On the weekend they had gone with Angela, Tommy and TJ to the beach.  
It was a beautiful warm breezy day and Jane was looking forward to just de-stressing.  
Maura had repeatedly insisted Jane wear some sunblock to protect her from 'dangerous UV rays'.  
Jane had rolled her eyes and so Maura had even offered to apply it and started to list off every study done on skin cancer.  
Angela had backed Maura, "You should listen to your friend Jane, she is smart and knows what's best for you."  
Just to stop Maura ending up in a full panic she had agreed.  
And if the beach doesn't de-stress you...lotion rubbed in gentle circles over skin and muscle certainly does.  
Jane falls asleep for a good fifteen minutes before TJ dumps cold water on her feet.  
A water fight follows with Maura and Jane teaming up against TJ and Tommy.  
The girls win easily and Maura laughs as Jane runs a victory lap around the two boys before buying them all ice-creams.  
Best date...um...outing...ever...

And then the trip to Fenway Park...  
That was not an outing...  
It was an experience...

Maura's arm brushed innocently against Jane's hip and, for the second time in less than two hours, Jane forgot where she was. All she feels is that strange sensation of butterflies in her stomach.  
She forgets to breathe.  
One breath of air is left trapped deep and painlessly in her lungs.  
Her eyes widen, perhaps from the unconscious effort to hold that breath, or perhaps from the incredible scene unfolding before her eyes.

Maura looks completely awkward in the most adorable way. Her eyes sparkling and dimples deeper than usual from the silly grin plastered on her face.  
Usually Jane would roll her eyes or say something sarcastic or witty, but instead she is completely caught off guard by the entirety of it all.  
In that moment Jane has completely forgotten why they are at a Red Sox game, where they are in the stands or even how they physically got there.  
She stands as the only statue among a wild crowd of over a thousand, all of them participating in the halftime wave. She is the only one not involved, the only one in the entire stadium, even the opposing teams supporters from out of town are trying to have a go.  
Her lack of movement stood out in the endless movement all around her.  
But Maura too busy to notice, her first wave ever, giving it everything she has as if this 'wave' is the reason the entire crowd turned up today and it will in fact win them the game.  
But Maura is so so completely out of time that anyone watching would think she was being attacked by a bee.  
And Jane can only watch. Transfixed.  
Eyes wide and mouth half open.  
Watching as intently as if it were the last few seconds on the game and the batter is racing against the pitcher with the ball for the home plate.  
She hears Maura's sweet and high laugh stand out like a birds song against the chaotic hum and growl of background chanting.  
Only when Maura turns to face her, giddy like a schoolgirl, smile as bright as the sun, does Jane force herself to breathe again.

"This is so fun." Maura says with a giggle, her face radiant.  
Jane bobs her head up and down a few times in a sort of agreement without thinking at all.  
And then her legs threaten to drop her to the ground, so she reaches to find the seat behind and throws her weight down heavily.  
"Are you ok Jane." Maura asks, a soft frown growing across her brow.  
Jane evaluates herself quickly, she has never felt so strange before, so weak and heavy at the same time. Her chest is tight and her palms sweaty. Her stomach sort-of spiraling. Her head lighter than air. Her mouth as dry as the Sahara.

The worst part is that she has no idea why.

Jane tries to nod again but it makes her head worse so she leans forward to put her head between her knees.  
Usually she wouldn't care, but today she ready doesn't want to blow chunks in front of her cultured and dignified best friend who is far to close and watching her far too intently.

"What is it Jane? Whats wrong?" The twinkle has gone and the dimples vanished and Jane wishes she could apologize for ruining the moment.

Then a hand placed on her shoulder makes her feel like someone turned the heat up several degrees.

"Don't." Jane breathes out slowly, trying to with the one word to convey the hundreds of internal functions that have all suddenly turned against her.

The hand leaves her shoulder, "Are you unwell? We can leave. Nod if you want to leave."

Jane glances up gratefully into those worried eyes and opens her mouth to speak but nothing comes out so she shakes her head 'no' slowly instead, hoping whatever is causing her this response passes quickly.

"I'm fine." Jane says weakly as she lower her head again.  
"You do not look fine, Jane."  
Jane lets out a weak sigh. "I think maybe it was something I ate."  
If Jane had looked up she would have seen the dimples reappear and a soft smirk start to spread across her friends face.  
"Or perhaps it was _everything_ you ate, Jane."

Jane opts to shrug in response, perhaps Maura is right and it was the combination of beer, two hotdogs, a corn-dog, a pottle of hot fries dipped in an sweet ice-cream sundae that was doused in chocolate sauce, plus a few pretzels...oh...and a single cream filled donut she had in the car on the way. But Jane silently doubts it. She has eaten far worse or greater combinations of food and has been perfectly fine.  
It might be different if they were at a theme park going on roller coaster rides.

"Yeah probably." She lies, "Give me a minute."  
Maura sits beside Jane and puts a hand on her arm giving a small stroke and Jane feels her stomach tighten again.  
"Okay" Maura says with a nod and a laugh before giving Jane some space and turning her attention back to the game.  
Jane looks to her side and watches Maura for just a moment. If only she could understand why she is feeling this way lately. Perhaps it's guilt or something.  
Maura senses she is being watched and turns to Jane and smiles, "I am so glad I came."

Maura had originally declined the invite. Jane had won two Red Sox tickets in the office raffle and Frankie couldn't go because he was on a shift. And so Jane had asked Maura and had looked quite surprised when Maura, who had no plans whatsoever for that evening, had simply said, "No thank you Jane. I am not interested in ball games enough to endure attending one in person."

Jane's shocked look had morphed into confused, and then moments later, Maura watched as Jane schooled her eyebrows down from her forehead and other features back to normal and had shrugged, "Oh...ok then."

And Maura was possibly more shocked than Jane when Jane simply turned and left.

It was about five minutes later, Maura received a message from the saved contact 'Internal Affairs?'.  
 _'_ _Please stay with Jane when she leaves work today and do not leave her alone. You won't be in danger.'  
_ And five minutes after that, Jane was noticeably ecstatic at her deck because Maura had just called to accept the invitation to the ball game after all.

What had really surprised Jane though, was when they were standing in the entrance line, Maura had touched her butt. Not an accidental touch, but a press against her and then an intentional stroke down her back and buttock. Twice.

Obviously when the first 'touch' happened, Jane had spun around and glared at the group behind her. Just as she was about to tell the man that was closest to her and looked most like he might be the type to grope a ladies buttock in the crowd to 'keep his dirty hands to himself or she would arrest him', she felt the same hand brush down her other butt cheek.

She spun to look behind her and faced Maura.

Maura's neck immediately turned crimson, either from the shock of getting caught or from the lie she might attempt to use to cover it up. And Maura had no choice but to turn away and look at anything but Jane.

She completely missed the annoyed look on Jane's face turning to shock.

Neither said a word and ten minutes later they reached their seats surrounded by a tense awkward silence. Jane couldn't think of anything to say and every time she looked at Maura she would look away.

Once the game was underway, Maura had began to enjoy herself immensely and forgot all about the incident.

Jane, on the other hand, was still completely distracted.

The touch on her hip bringing it all back.

Maura would admit she did, sort of feel Jane up while waiting in the cue, but she would also call it an accident. She had been attempting to discretely check Jane's back pockets but the lady beside her had accidentally nudged her and caused her to loose her balance somewhat and fall against Jane, her hand grazed Jane's behind, and she hadn't felt what she was looking for. Once she recovered her balance, Jane was facing away from her and she could see a small bulge in the other back pocket, an rectangle shape. She needed to confirm so she reached for it to feel if it was a small hard square object like the cellphone she had seen.

And her hand, without the skills to discreetly check the item's shape or firmness, simply ran over the object. Jane spun on her feet and stared at Maura, who was suddenly aware of what she had just done and what implications or intentions could be associated with such a gesture.

Without having a decent explanation, Maura turned away and bit her lip, unsure how to correct the assertion.

What Jane didn't know was that Maura, after rejecting the invitation, had watched Jane turn and leave in surprise. Jane's usual groaning, begging and bribing routine had not been enacted, or even attempted, which seemed rather out of character. She watched the back of Jane's jacket disappear around the corner by the elevators and decided to follow her. She heard the ding of the elevator announcing its arrival on the basement level and the familiar sound of the doors opening, and Maura carefully poked her head around the corner. And just as the doors closed with Jane inside, Maura saw Jane reach into her back pocket and pull out a phone that was different to the phone Jane generally used. It was the same one she had seen in the restaurant bathroom. The one Jane had 'forgotten' to turnin as evidence.  
The doors closed and Jane was gone from view.  
Maura pressed her lips together in thought before heading back to her office where her phone alerted her to a text message. A message from 'Internal Affairs?'

And it was at that point Maura had begun to suspect something suspicious was happening that she needed to get to the bottom of.

Just not by touching Jane's bottom.

Jane never had the phone in public except the time Maura had caught her.

Texts from 'Internal Affairs?' always came when Jane was away from her...although according to them they were watching the two of them so would likely only text when it would not raise suspicion.  
Maura would have to gather more information and be very observant.

Ten minutes later Jane felt better.  
They both cheered as the Red Sox won.  
And then Jane and Maura had gone home together to celebrate on with beer and wine.

"So I have to ask Maur. While we were waiting to get in...did you mean to...yah' know...touch my butt?"

Maura keeps her head down as presses her lips together and looks up at Jane.

She doesn't mean too but the look comes across a little seductively, maybe it's because of the soft blush and twinkling eyes.

"I was pushed from behind." Maura states clearly. It's the truth at least.

"Both times?" Jane presses looking somewhat amused.

"No." Maura admits keeping herself composed.

Jane waits for an explanation that will never come.

And while she waits, Maura decides to poke Jane in the ribs with her toe.

Jane laughs and jumps on her friend...and for now the topic is forgotten.

And when Jane falls asleep on the couch, Maura watches her and wonders what is really going on with her friend.

* * *

...to be continued...


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for the comments and the help everyone.  
I think we are on a similar wavelength Scounrel, But thanks to your suggestions I have altered a later chapter a 'lot' and it's so so so much better now. So thank you so much. :)  
Good news is I finally have direction(-ish) so no more running around in the dark without a flashlight :D  
Let me know what you think.

xx Jam

* * *

CHAPTER 4

* * *

"So there are no open homicide cases that have a flip-top cellphone as evidence."

Kent shakes his head, "No. I have double checked. And there was defiantly nothing on those dates you gave me."

Maura crinkles her brow, "What about recently closed cases prior to that."

"I thought you might ask so I have already checked all closed cases over the past month as well."

"And?" Maura says hands on hips with impatience.

Kent opens his folder, "Four phones were submitted into evidence but none were a flip phone. All those phones have since been returned to next-of-kin and all done prior to that date you were searching for or within a few days of it."

Maura scratches her chin.

"I know you didn't ask me to check, but since you mentioned Jane was the person that would have signed it in...I went ahead and checked electronic devices signed in by her, there were none. There was only one in evidence on a case Jane worked on but that was over three weeks ago. I also checked non-homicide cases for anything Jane submitted but there was nothing there either."

"So there is nothing?"

"Uhhh, well that depends on what exactly you were trying to find."

Maura shakes her head slowly, "She said the phone was evidence and we came here together to enter it in..."

Kent glances at his paperwork again, "Well...then yes...I suppose there is nothing."

"Unless it was to do with...internal affairs...or something."

Kent clears his throat, "If it was evidence of anything to do with BPD or an officer there would be a paper trail. Other agencies don't keep evidence here and have their own protocols."

Maura shakes her head and leans against the counter, Jane is definitely lying to her, but why.

"Are you okay Doctor Isles?" Kent says questioning with concern.

"Yes. Sorry. I'm fine." Maura whispers, "But I have some work to do."

* * *

"Maura, look." Jane begs with a hint of a smile in her tone.

Maura keeps her head down in her files on her desk, "No."

"Look Maura, look." Jane tries again.

"I'm busy Jane." Maura replies cooly keeping her small but growing frustration under control.

Perhaps she should have met Jane there instead of letting Jane wait in her office for her to finish which is now slowing her down.

"Mauraaaaaa," Jane whines, "Pleeeease...loooook..."

Maura looks up from the paperwork to find Jane is wearing one of her tribal masks and attempting to do a tribal dance which looks more like a take-off of Michael Jacksons Thriller video.

She stifles a laugh and tries to look annoyed before she realizes Jane is too busy looking goofy to see her reaction. She has seen Jane fool around and act the fool many times before and every time it warms her heart.

"Are you looking?" A muffled excited voice comes from behind the mask.

Maura smiles, "No Jane."

It warms her heart mainly because, she herself would try to fit in instead of stand out and she finds others complete self-confidence enthralling, and she gets to spend time with this fun, crazy, amazing, caring loving person, who would act the fool just to put a smile on her face.

She loves that Jane trusts her enough to not hold back, to be completely and totally herself, it makes her feel good that their friendship is so strong.

And so she just watches the arm waving, leg stretching, bottom shaking uncoordinated routine hiding behind a wooden oversized mask that Jane holds with one hand to steady.

Jane must have worked out Maura is watching, "Are you amused?"

Maura wonders if Jane always overacts purely for the entertainment of others.

"You are very funny Jane." Maura replies trying unsuccessfully to sound displeased.

She can hear Jane start to laugh softly, "They aren't so creepy after all huh?"

"No they aren't, now they are more...whats the word...ridiculous." She allows a soft giggle to escape to let Jane know she isn't upset at what she would have once thought was sacrilege.

Jane lifts the mask and grins cheekily at her from underneath it.

Maura smiles back, "Thank you. Can I get back to work now or is your boredom going to continue to distract?"

Jane huffs and waves her hand dismissively as if to say Maura can continue working and then proceeds to rehang the mask crookedly on the wall.

And Maura attempts to finish what she is doing, although she can't help but glance up at Jane every few minutes to see what her friend might do next.

But Jane is acting very appropriately now, very Jane-ish, studying Maura's awards and doctorates hanging on the wall, and then watching through the window between Maura's office and the morgue at the activities going on in there.

Maura has watched Jane a hundred times before, but right now it's more like studying her friend.

The way she pushes her hand through her hair, the way she holds her other hand half closed on her hip, the way she puts her weight on one leg.

The way she bites her lip and rubs the back of her neck while leaning closer to something.

The way her eyebrows come together as she reads the cover of a science today magazine.

Maura continues to watch as Jane taps her foot on the ground, which in Jane language means she isn't actually interested in the magazine.

Then there is the way she looks up from the magazine and stares at her with a questioning eyebrow raised.

"Oh" Maura says realizing she has been blatantly staring at her friend for the last...however long...and has been caught staring.

"Oh?" Jane questions, "Are you done then?"

Maura slaps the uncompleted folder closed on the desk, "Yes. Yes I am done."

There is no way she is going to tell Jane that she wasn't done, that she had been distracted staring at her and was far from done.

Her neck burned instantly so she told herself she was 'done for the night and would finish it early in the morning and hence not lying'.

It worked like always.

Jane smiled as she grabbed her jacket, thrilled to finally leave work.

Maura picked her coat off the back of the chair not making eye contact with Jane.

"Let's go then." Jane says as she pushes the door and holds it open for Maura.

Perhaps Maura imagined it, but she turned as she walked out the door and it looked like Jane was checking her out. Eyes following her leg from the calf upwards. It made her heart stall for a half second.

Uncharacteristic traits.

But then she was wearing a remarkable outfit that was the cause of a lot of stares...so that was probably it.

Jane opened the passenger car door for her as well, but that was probably just because Jane wanted to drive.

And she held open the restaurant door too and Maura frowned without realizing she was finding it that unusual...

It was another thing Maura added to her list.

* * *

 _Her list of tiny little peculiar things, subtle difference._

 _Like the way Jane looked at her sometimes, it was almost like a look Jane sometimes gave to victims of crime when Jane knew disturbing details that she didn't want to, or couldn't, share. The difference was in the eyebrow which usually went with a question. Maura wondered if Jane was wondering if Maura knew something or was questioning something. Maybe it was about the phone, maybe everything else. The look was held and then Jane would suddenly turn her head away._

 _There was also the lack of sarcastic remarks around her, even though Jane knew Maura wasn't offended by them, Jane had dialed them back._

 _She had also notice Jane studied her when she didn't think Maura would notice. Maura always noticed._

 _Jane had failed to interrogate her about her reasons for going places she wouldn't normally go or do things without any protest. In the past Jane had always questioned almost everything._

 _Jane had also not been whining or begging for things to go her way. Jane was tacticle at getting what she wanted, but perhaps that had to do more with Maura agreeing to almost everything._

 _There was also the touches. There had always been touches. A touch of comfort. A touch of support. A touch in place of a thank you. A touch to say I'm sorry._

 _But now there were touches for no reason, or at least none Maura could figure out._

 _It wasn't that she minded, far from it, Maura loved those gestures, it had taken her years to be ok with random touches as gestures until she preferred the touch to any words. But these touches were long, and gentle, and completely wordless. And they were almost always on bare skin. And there was more than there had ever been._

 _Questioning them got Maura reasons she was sure Jane was struggling to believe herself. "You moved just then and I was reaching past." "I was thinking about that time that sculptor was going to turn you into dead art." "I thought you looked sad." "I thought you might be cold." "There was a bug on your arm." "That fabric on your dress looked really soft."_

 _Tiny little things that on their own didn't mean much at all..._

 _but, all together, said a lot._

 _A lot of what Maura hadn't decided yet._

 _But then there was the lack of tangible information or developments about this supposed 'threat' to Jane. It was not a case of 'No news is good news.'. Maura saw not one strange car following them anywhere or parked outside any place her or Jane were. No strange, unusual or suspicious people at any of their destinations._

 _Maura was positive Jane was hiding something. Concealing something. Being different because something IS different._

 _With every new piece of information available she was evaluating coincidence with occurrence and surmising one hypothesis while simultaneously abandoning another. All on some level consciously._

 _But why was Jane acting uncharacteristic, why had she been for at least two weeks now._

 _Maura was sure it wasn't work or nightmares or even an irrational fear, because Jane's had no periorbital puffiness and her sleep patterns seemed regular._

 _Most people always assumed Maura missed the social cues. She didn't interpret them easily, but very few details escaped her, her job was in the details. Plus years of practice in social situations...and with a few years extra courses in body language and psychology under her belt, she could usually figure it out._

 _But she didn't always let on...even to Jane._

* * *

A few wines later and Maura smiled at Jane softly, curiously.

"You alright?" Jane asked. She found Maura to be different of late and was struggling to get a handle on what was happening herself.

"I'm great. Are you ok Jane?"

Jane smiles and nods, "Course. Why?"

Usually that question alone would turn the questioning on its head with Maura trying to avoid all topics that she perceived dangerous to the mission or herself. But tonight, she was going to push a bit harder.

"You have been slightly uncharacteristic of late."

She was going to push a _lot_ harder.

Jane almost chokes on her drink as she looks over the top of her glass, her eyes a tiny bit wider than usual.

"What?" Her voice is deep and slightly defensive.

"Hmmmm." Maura responds inquisitively as she takes a small sip.

She watches as Jane chews her lip and shakes her head 'no'.

Maura squints slightly, "Nothing has changed or there is no reason for the change?"

Maura watches in surprise as a shiny bead of sweat forms on Jane's forehead and she swallows heavily.

It isn't nerves, but she can't quite place it. She has not seem it before on Jane.

She wonders if she was to let Jane sit long enough like this if she might, of her own volition, reveal whatever is going on.

Jane is reacting for a reason, that much she knows.

That is all she really knows for sure.

Maura raises an eyebrow at Jane, almost willing her to lie to her, or at the very least to say something.

"I...I don't know what you're talking about." Jane says forcing her voice to sound calm and even. The slightly stunned face replaced by a learned fake confidence.

Maura knows she should have known better than to think Jane would fall apart at the seams. Jane's years of training and practice at composing herself in interrogations, hostage situations, and crisis situations, of keeping her feelings hidden, or being able to lie undetected. There had been many times Jane had been truly confident in the face of terror or evil, and there had also been plenty of other times, much to Maura's surprise, that Jane had confided in her afterwards that she had actually been terrified. Maura could only have guessed which was genuine correctly less than a quarter of the time.

But Maura guesses, perhaps naively, this is fake and continues forward. Leaning ever so slightly towards her friend her eyes as intense and fearless as she can possibly make them.

She notices Jane lean away ever so slightly as she does. It boosts her confidence that much more.

"Jane. If there is something going on..." Maura pauses for intensity, "...I need you to tell me. I _need_ that. Jane. Please." She doesn't intend for it to sound so desperate at the end. Perhaps her vulnerability will open the door for honest communication. Perhaps it will help Jane trust her.

Jane studies Mauras face, almost like she is searching for something. There is a slight twitch of the left eye and Jane clenches and releases her jaw. Maura doesn't know how to read that, she also notices Jane hasn't used any of her usual nervous habits...yet. Then Jane licks her lips and growls, "Is something wrong with you Maura?"

Even though the words sound harsh and are designed to get Maura to back off, Maura knows in that moment that Jane is afflicted by something.

Maura bites her lip. She starts playing with her ring, her own terrible nervous habit she hasn't been able to break.

"What is it Maur-"

Jane's voice is the opposite of the last sentence, now soft like butter and drenched in concern, as well as a soft hand landing on hers tenderly. Held like a magnet, like the other times. Warm and unusual but there and distracting in all the right ways.  
The gesture feel so caring, so loving, that Maura can feel her body wanting to just feel it and cry.

'It is supposed to be about Jane and not me', Maura tells herself just to control the reactions inside her, 'It's about Jane'.

She puts her hand on top of Janes and slides her fingers around to hold it tightly.

"Jane." Her voice is firm and she is happy to at least sound back in control. "I have never pushed you to express yourself. I have always let you deal with things in whatever way that works for you. But in this case...I _need_ you to talk to me. You can tell me anything."

The hand sandwiched between hers tries to pull away so she grips tighter, it's a power struggle she cannot afford to loose. It could be life or death. It could be anything.

Jane looks at her hand, she could escape if she really wanted to but it would send a very deep and painful message to someone that is showing distressed concern about her. Not that many people in her life cared enough to push her this hard thinking it was for her own good.

She doesn't want to send a wrong message, hurt Maura more just to cover the lies she tells herself, the lies she tells Maura.

It's not about the prank...maybe it was in the beginning...now it's about that person sitting in front of her, the one she adores but can't admit she does, the one she wants to spend all her spare time with, but without it being weird, or perhaps weird is good, maybe she wants weird...but only if if she is weirdly wanted back. Perhaps she doesn't know what weird really is, or won't know until she tries it, or maybe weird is silly, or will be bad. Maybe adorable and weird will somehow conflict. Maybe she could loose both.

Jane blinks a few times, her focus on her trapped hand. Her brain traveling so much faster than her heart she can easily identify the rhythm. The lub and the dub. Maura had explained it all to her once.

 _She had been holding a heart in her gloved hand and pointing at parts of it..."The lub is when this closes, the atrioventricular valves...the dub is when these close, the semilunar valves."_

 _"_ _Lub dub Maura...with those scientific terms I have absolutely no reason to doubt a word you say." she had replied sarcastically._

 _Maura had laughed "Would you prefer 'S one', the first heart sound, and 'S two' the second heart sound?"_

 _"_ _Nooo." Jane had joked, "Lub-dub is just fine."_

Right now she could feel the lub and dub and she was fairly certain she could hear it in her ears. Only now it was lub-dub-lub-dub-lub-dub. No pauses between or on either side.

Her hand was also becoming annoying hot and she tries to breathe slowly and evenly to calm herself. She knows Maura can't know whats really happening with her so there is no need to...whatever this is.

"Tell me what's going on Jane."

Jane shakes her head. She can't.

"Maybe I already know Jane. Maybe I just need to hear it from you."

Jane's heart is racing so fast now that things are becoming blurry. Either Maura knows Jane set up this whole joke thing...or Maura knows that Jane is having weird feelings about them.

Jane can feel her neck starts to warm up under her collar. Either Maura will kill her...or hate her...or both.

She can feel Maura's hand squeeze her own trapped clammy hand.

"Oh shit." Jane whispers as she thinks she might be going to pass out.

"Calm down Jane...please." The voice is strained and high.

Jane puts her forehead in her free hand, she feels sick, different sick than at the ballgame. She looks up and can tell Maura is starting to worry but she can't think why...she is the one panicking.

"What?" It's a weak whisper and she can barely hear herself over the pounding of her own heart. All her training, all her confidence, and one truth revealed is about to cause her to faint. Does Maura know that she is falling for her...or that she has lied and tricked her.

"Your pulse Jane, your heart is beating so fast."

She can feel Maura taking her pulse because the fingers are cool against her wrist.

"I..." She can't think, too much blood pumping to her head and the room is starting to spin.

If Maura didn't know before...with this reaction it's clear something is wrong...really wrong. She can feel hands on her shoulders holding her.

"Calm down Jane. Just breathe. Very slowly. In...out...in..."

"What's happening?" Jane says between shallow gasps.

"You're hyperventilating."

Her heart feels like it's just a giant humming bird now. "I can't be."

Jane can hear Maura calling to the waiter to get a paper bag and she wonders if she could die of embarrassment. That might be better than this. If only the ground would swallow her up.

"You are safe Jane. You don't need to worry."

Someone is fanning air into her face and it helps, but she really just wants to lie down on the floor.

"Jane. It's ok. You're ok. Calm slow breaths."

The voice itself is so comforting but between her heartbeat, the burning in her chest and the dizzyness, she can't focus on breathing right now..

"I'm...I'm sorry Maura." Jane begs just incase she dies...she wants forgiveness for being a terrible friend or maybe just for causing a scene...or even for lying. All of them. Perhaps this is her punishment. Either way, she is sorry for something and for lots of things.

She can feel Maura's hand against her face.

"Look at me Jane."

Jane looks up into hazel green eyes that show concern and caring.

"You have nothing to be sorry for...please just focus on breathing...ok. You can do it."

Jane tries to calm down, there isn't much else she can do since the more she thinks about it the worse it gets.

A few slower breaths and it feels a little better.

Someone holds an open brown paper bag in front of her face and she looks at Maura who nods for her to take it. She puts it to her mouth and starts to breathe into the bag, just like she has watched others do. The crunching noise helps her focus, short rushed breaths turn deeper and slower, until finally she is pausing for a few seconds between the breaths.

Her head now clearer. Her heart slower.

She keeps her focus on Maura letting her radiating calmness wash over her.

To not think about Maura's questions and the other things. Especially the physical sensations.

The next few breaths all slower and calmer and she feels almost back to normal.

"I thought you were going to go vasovagal on me." Maura says with a soft laugh.

Jane can only look at her and smile weakly. Never has she felt so embarrassed in her entire life.

"Let's get some air shall we." Maura says tugging at Jane's hand.

"Kay." Jane complies weakly.

The cool evening air helps immensely, and Jane feels back to her usual self again.

Even with Maura's arm looped through hers she feels better.

They walk almost a block before Maura speaks.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Jane shakes her head that she doesn't. She now has to work on two excuses...one for what she was hiding before, and now one for why she just over reacted. Or maybe one big lie that covers both.

"That's never happened to me before." Jane says softly, almost sadly.

"I could tell." Maura replied gently.

"Why did the bag help?"

"Rebreathing expelled air increases levels of carbon dioxide into the blood."

"Huh?"

"Well...ventalation converts oxygen to carb-"

"Uhh." Jane interrupts.

"A panic attack-"

Jane gives her a look that says 'simpler'.

Maura purses her lips in thought, "When a person breaths very rapidly, like you did, they lose too much carbon dioxide in the blood causing the symptoms you felt. Rebreathing restores the lost gas by increasing carbon dioxide in the blood."

"What causes...a panic attack?"

"Lots of things...but in your case I think stress...or fear."

Jane begins to chew on her bottom lip in thought.

Maura presses her own lips tightly together to stop herself speaking. She fights herself to keep secret the thing she thinks Jane is afraid of. The very thing she was told not to tell Jane.

 _A party has sent threats regarding Detective Rizzoli with strict instructions that she is to not be made aware of this danger. If any changes are made to Detective Rizzoli's routine, other than their instructions, that some-one will be harmed. That is why it is imperative that you do not say anything about this to anyone, especially her._

"Are you in some sort of trouble Jane?"

Jane abruptly stops walking.

She is frowning as she puts the pieces together, what Maura thinks is happening, why Maura was questioning her.

She tightens her arm around Maura's and rushes forward and around the corner pulling Maura into an alleyway pressing her against the wall ignoring the shocked gasp.

"Shhhh Maur. Shhhhh." Jane says as she looks first north and then south checking that no-one is around before giving her full attention to her friend.

She makes sure she looks only mildly scared, because she is Jane Rizzoli after all.

Not too afraid but not relaxed either...the right balance to convince Maura.

Maura doesn't know how she feels, Maura doesn't know about the prank, Maura thinks it's about the fake threat she made up. And this gives her everything she needs but shouldn't have.

An excuse.

A bigger lie.

It's almost too easy but it's perfect.

After a long intense stare and in a hushed tone, Jane whispers, "We can't talk about this here, or...anywhere. Ever. I can't let you get hurt again."

Maura looks around as well and frowns. She feels a huge relief, she hates secrets and she trusts Jane. And Jane knows...so that makes Jane safe.

"I want to know-"

"Shhh" Jane whispers cutting her off, "Too dangerous."

Maura wonders, if Jane knew all this time, why would she go along with it. Was it to protect her family. To protect Maura. Was this the reason for the uncharacteristic behavior. Was Jane afraid.

Maura whispers so quietly Jane struggles to make out the words, " _I didn't know you knew._ "

Jane leans her head against Maura's shoulder so she can hide her face. She might be a pretty good liar but, in this proximity, Maura might be able to tell. She can feel Maura's breath against her neck.

" _I didn't know you knew either,_ " Jane whispers weakly.

"What do we do?" Maura's voice quivers slightly at the end.

Jane closes her eyes, now she is starting to hate this. Causing more fear, more confusion, more lies. Is it's better than the alternative...being honest about those bizarre feelings she can't quite work out...or about the prank.

"We carry on exactly as before...ok? Nothing changes."

Perhaps she should end this now somehow...a text. Mission over. Then she can keep this secret forever. Before she gets in deeper.

"Ok." Maura replies softly.

She feels Maura's arm's sliding around her waist and wrapping her in a firm hug and it causes a tingling feeling wherever Maura touches her.

"It's such a relief that you know, that i'm not keeping it from you."

Jane swallows loudly, the warmth and touch feels so good. She could stay here forever. "Shhhh Maur. It's alright. But we can't talk about this again."

"Will you stay with me tonight Jane?"

Jane pulls away to look at her friend and can see that the soft worried eyes are now a little damp and the bottom lip quivers slightly.

How is she capable of doing this to her friend. Why is she doing this. She is the worst friend in the world.

"It's going to be ok, I promise." Janes says with a smile gently pushing Maura's hair away from her eyes. Now _is_ the time to end this. A simple text to say it's over, it's done, the threat is gone, the un-sub has been caught.

She has decided there is no other way.

Maura nods wearily.

"Yes." Jane says, "Course I will stay with you."

It is the least she can do.

And when Maura leans her head against Jane's chest, warm and soft and needy, a thumb brushing against her side causing a tingle on her skin and a butterfly in her tummy, Jane remembers why she has continued this for so long.


	5. Chapter 5

Where have the months gone...time has been going too fast...you have all been so patient.  
I have had very little time to write and barely any inspiration. That combination is bad. But occasionally posting something and getting wonderful feedback is somehow an inspiration in itself. So fingers crossed :) At least it's something...

Didn't actually expect this chapter to go the way it did...but somehow it works in the 'rollercoaster' and tension building aspect. I'm trying to pad things out a bit further otherwise, like me, it's all facts and arcs and rushing to the end and forgetting that the destination is not the goal.

Hope you enjoy. And hope the next chapter isn't months away.  
Love Jam xxx

* * *

CHAPTER 5

* * *

 _Almonds._

 _Why could she smell almonds._

"Maura?" The gravelly voice questions, pulling her from her thoughts.

"Huh?" Maura replies with a deep frown, instantly distracted again from the question by the smell of sweet almonds still surrounding her.

Jane spins to look at her, the angry look she had carried since arriving at the crime scene this morning suddenly replaced by surprise and confusion. Then, a frustrated expression wipes everything else away. It was not the normal semi-frustration-Jane-look that Maura might expect. Because Jane has been already been cold towards her.

"Cause of death?" Jane asks again with a deep growl, a glare and lips that hardly move in-front of clenched teeth. It reminds Maura of an angry bear she had seen at the zoo and she swallows audibly.

Jane crosses her arms as the frown deepens.

Maura squeezes her eyes shut and hangs her head. She hates it when Jane is mad at her. She hates conflict. But worse even yet is using bad english. _'Huh.'_ The rebuke she would give someone else for such a nonsensical reply like the one that just fell from her own lips.

She had been distracted, is distracted, however momentarily, by that smell of almonds. She knew it wasn't from the murdered victim below her on the floor. And it wasn't the same bitter almond smell that cyanide mimicked thankfully. The victim had not died of poisoning based on the pool of blood she was carefully avoiding in her expensive heels and the obvious wound to the head.

This, extremely distracting, smell was of a sweet almond kind. Mixed every so gently with white thyme and vanilla. Or more precisely, the almond, thyme and vanilla matched exactly her very own shower body wash. Only it wasn't coming from herself but across the room from her. And mixed with another smell that seemed to penetrate into her nostrils, another smell she could place if pressed.

The smell she associated with strength, warmth, and safety. A hint of lavender and something like the ocean breeze.

The smell of Jane.

Well...the smell of her body wash AND Jane.

Maura tries to catch her thoughts and find a grip reality.

"Um..." She misses again. It's much more than distracting.

Jane turns her frustrated stare to Korsak who spreads his arms wide and gives a semi-amused shrug.

 _Huh and Um. Seriously. Get a grip Maura_. She scolds herself silentlyand presses her lips tightly together enough to cause momentary pain, it helps her get hold of herself.

"Sorry" She breathes softly knowing it is of little benefit to Jane's state of mind.

Jane moves her hands to her hips and pulls her eyebrows together.

The look says 'Don't you _dare_ make me ask you a third time.'

She can tell Jane is angry with her. But not because of having to ask Maura twice.

She can tell because, a Jane that was in good spirits would say something sarcastic, or make a joke, or even ask if she was alright.

But Jane was all focused on the case and whatever had her pissed of already and there was no light humor anywhere in the room.

The cause of death is obvious to them all, but as per usual, they all wait to hear it from the Medical Examiner before they begin any sort of urgent speculation...and that means Maura needs to say something other than 'huh' or 'um'.

She opens her mouth to say _blunt force trauma_ , but instead a surprising word comes out, "Almonds."

How she managed to say what she was thinking instead of what she meant to, she will never quite know but she can feel her skin turning a shade of red.

Jane moves her arms to cross them, and after a long frown, finally, a large and abnoxious smirk begins to grow creating giant indents on her cheeks, her eyes darting back to Korsak as if the joke she is 'about to make' is solely for his amusement.

Maura prepares herself, because an unhappy, frustrated, angry or annoyed Jane usually means a very hurtful joke.

And as Jane opens her mouth, Maura wishes she knew why Jane was mad at her in the first place...because as she recalls, the previous night being anything but angry or negative.

Perhaps she could quickly tell a lie...yell, 'get back Jane...it's cyanide poisoning', and watch Jane panic and fuss over her like she did that time it really had happened. But no amount of will-power could make her nose bleed on command, and to lie could trigger hives and fainting instead, plus her reputation after the hazmat team arrived and there was no cyanide present at all would be shattered. The great Maura Isles making a huge error would be worse that what Jane was about to say...she hoped.

"Soooo...Dr Isles...the victim was killed by nuts? That is going to look _great_ on his death certificate." Jane's eyes sparkle as she animatedly waves her arms around. "Must have been a tiny karate warrior to have made a dent that size in the guys head."

Maura wishes she had fainted now, she was being mocked and it did hurt even though it was nice to see Jane no longer angry with her.

Korsak snickers and shakes his head slowly, "Or perhaps a 'giant' sized nut. Better alert the media that someones giant nuts are on the loose."

Jane snorts as she laughs leaning against the wall to hold herself up, "Someone...someone call the nut-busters."

When Korsak finally stops chuckling he starts whistling the ghostbusters theme and Jane throws in 'who you gonna call...nutbusters!' in the appropriate places and she waves her fingers to the tune.

Neither notice Maura watching them as if she is recording this moment of embarrassment as unforgettable camaraderie.

Finally done, Jane takes in a large breath ready to propel into the next joke about nuts that popped into her head.

Maura clears her throat loudly and growls angrily, "Seriously?"

Jane freezes with her mouth open and looks at Maura in surprise.

"Well, It's your call, you're the doc. I am just wondering tho...what sort of weapon did the almond have? A husk?" Korsak says with a smile. He isn't bothered by Maura's anger. Perhaps he doesn't know that Maura _doesn't_ get angry like that.

"The cause of death was blunt force trauma." Maura replies with a stern, don't mess with me, unapologetic tone keeping her focus on Jane and ignoring Korsak, "The weapon appears to be a thin cylindrical object approximately ten millimeters in diameter."

When Maura finishes and looks away, Jane and Korsak glance at each other.

"Fire poker." Jane finally suggests pointing at the fireplace behind Maura that has a black fire set missing the fire poker.

"I cannot confirm that." Maura huffs in her usual way busying herself with the body itself.

Korsak heads to the fireplace and Jane takes a step closer to Maura.

"And the almonds?"Jane asks softly without humor this time, the anger completely absent, perhaps even replaced with worry, and the smell of almonds to Maura now stronger than before.

Maura takes a shaky breath. That soft voice, almost as soft as last night in the alleyway. And then again in her bed with Jane curled up next to her. And that smell so close now she can practically taste it.

What had changed between last night and this morning.

Why had she been greeted by a cold and gravelly 'Dr. Isles' from her best friend when she stepped onto the crime scene.

It had caught her off guard. She was surprised, confused and sad. Because last night had been so...so...wonderful.

* * *

 _After Jane's confession in the alleyway, there was that instant relief that she didn't have to keep anymore secrets. She hated secrets...especially secrets with Jane._

 _In that moment she had felt lighter than air. And her neck no longer felt warm even though Jane was breathing against it. And then Jane had promised to stay with her. She had never felt so safe even if there was imminent danger lurking potentially right around the corner._

 _The drive together back to Maura's had been a silent one. Maura holding a thousand questions inside, and Jane's expression showing that she was deep in thought herself._

 _When they arrived back, at first she thought Jane was going to sleep in the spare room or on the couch, but she put on silk pajamas anyway, just in case._

 _As she lay there in her own bed, she heard Jane sneak into her room and felt her climb under the bedcovers. Maura hadn't said a word. Fear that if she opened her mouth that all her thoughts and fears for Jane's safety would tumble out along with her own internal conflicts. So she lay there just listening to Jane's breathing while carefully trying to control her own._

 _She also knew that her busy brain was one reason she would never get to sleep._

 _Knowing Jane was safe tonight was a relief. Knowing Jane knew was also a relief. But she began to think, perhaps too hard. She wondered why Internal Affairs had told her to keep it to herself if Jane already knew, or what if Jane had found out on her own. Perhaps something bad had already happened she didn't know about. Perhaps Jane had figured it out because she had been acting differently. And why didn't Jane ask her how she knew in the first place._

 _But Jane had said it was too dangerous to speak about. Was her phone was bugged, house tapped, car under surveillance. Perhaps Jane did have as many questions as she did but thought it too dangerous to ask._

 _"_ _Are you ok Maur?" That soft croaky voice drifted across the silence stalling her noisy mind in it's tracks._

 _How grateful she is Jane is safe. Every near tragedy, every dangerous moment, every reminder her of the fragility of life. All the bodies on her morgue tables were lives that had ended suddenly, often tragically. One moment breathing and then, in a split second, not breathing. Ended. Forever._

 _"_ _Maura?"_

 _Maura wants to say yes she is fine, hasn't Jane worried about her enough to last a lifetime, doesn't Jane have enough other things going on to really worry about._

 _She wants to be brave and tough and not worry Jane, to be more like Jane than herself._

 _"_ _No." She whispers. She can't even lie even when she intends too and the truth is followed by a long and shaky breath, "But we_ can't _talk about it."_

 _And she knows Jane understands the topic that is upsetting her. The only thing they can't talk about._

 _Moments later a warm arm sneaks across her waist as if it had been done a hundred times before even though in their previous few sleepovers they had barely touched._

 _And a hand curls around her hip gently tickling the skin it touches._

 _And Jane's body moves firmly into her side. A chin presses against her shoulder breathing even wisps of air against her bare skin. Legs press against her own. And the arm relaxes across her stomach._

 _It feels like a promise only she isn't sure for what._

 _Maura turns her head to look at Jane and Jane holds the eye contact with her as if a long and deep conversation was taking place. Two dark pools of slightly quizzical softness and care studying her just like they have many times before._

 _"_ _I have so many questions Jane."_

 _"_ _I know." Jane whispers back, a hint of sadness to her gravelly voice._

 _"_ _I'm scared."_

 _Jane shakes her head slightly, movements restricted mainly by the mattress, "You don't need to be."_

 _But she is scared. How can she not be._

 _"_ _I'm glad you're here Jane."_

 _Jane lets go of Maura's waist reaching up to brush Maura's cheek with her thumb, as if wiping away a tear. Maybe she was crying, she can't be sure._

 _The touch seems to linger on her skin long after Jane's hand has returned to her hip/_

 _"_ _Me too." Jane whispers and then she closes her eyes and presses a soft kiss against Maura's shoulder._

 _Maura closes her eyes and lets herself be lost in the promised security and sweet friendship._

 _"_ _I promise everything will be ok." Jane whispers sweetly against her skin._

 _Maura wants to argue that Jane shouldn't make promises she can't keep, but she also remembers that Jane has never broken her promises before. Before she can reply with a thank you, she recognizes the tell-tale signs that Jane had fallen asleep. Wrapped together with their foreheads almost touching...she feels safer than she ever has, perhaps more loved than ever before. Her whole body hums and she can't explain why. But as she drifts off to sleep she now knows that she will sleep very very well after all._

* * *

Between then and the crime scene, not a word had been spoken between them.

So why was Jane so upset with her.

"No Almonds." Maura says as she stands to her feet and turns to her friend. "What did I do Jane?"

Jane frowns, "What?"

"You _are_ mad at me. _Why_ are you upset with me Jane?"

"I'm..I'm not." Jane grunts crossing her arms defensively and looking around the room for a subject to change the topic to.

"Don't lie to me. Last night everything was...it was wonderful. I've never felt like that before. And then this...you...is it because I know about the thing...or is it because we slept together like we did?"

Korsaks eyes grow several sizes larger as his mouth drops open.

"What...No." Jane almost yells.

Korsak chokes on air before quickly excusing himself from the room while mumbling "I'll..uh..check upstairs for the fire poker."

"Maura." Jane groans in weak frustration watching him leave, her arms drop down her sides in defeat.

"What Jane?"

"Don't you think before you speak? I have to work with him." Jane says as she crosses her arms and glares at Maura, the cause of her frustration at her friend momentarily renewed if not for a different reason.

Maura straightens herself and puts her hand on her hips defensively, "I don't understand. I don't get you at all Jane."

"Seriously?" Jane shakes her head. "Korsak now thinks we did more than just sleep in the same bed. And I have to work with him all day every day. It's ok for you...you only see him during a case for short periods of time."

"I meant...what happened between _us_?"

Jane sighs loudly, "You left."

Maura blinks a few times trying to process Jane's meaning, "I _left_ _what_?"

Jane chews her lip as if she can't figure out how to answer, "Well...when I woke up...you were...just...gone."

And Jane claps her mouth shut perhaps thinking her statement out loud sounds slightly more absurd than it did in her head.

"What do you mean gone?" Maura says looking completely lost in understanding what Jane really means.

Jane's face turns pink and so she turns her back on Maura to hide and responds with a non-committed shrug, "I mean...it's your house and whatever. I just...I was confused. I thought...I don't know...I..."Jane snaps her mouth shut not really sure what she is trying to say herself, her sub-conscious suddenly playing tricks on her and she scolds herself for sounding like an upset 5year old, "Never mind."

Maura had slipped out at six that morning hoping to be back before Jane even woke up. It had been Jane's day off and Maura had, after standing in the doorway watching the brunette sleeping peacefully, spread out on the bed, her long limbs causing the king bed to look more like a double. She hadn't stirred when Maura rolled over and climbed out and she determined that the light-sleeper must indeed be very tired. How many nights, knowing what Jane knew, had she had terrible or restless sleeps because of it.

It was a better reason than the truth...that she didn't want to have to face a barrage of questions from Jane about her early morning Saturday appointment. And she didn't want Jane's quizzical mind wondering where she had gone even now, standing there with her back turned.

Officially they had both been 'on call', but Maura had been hopeful that Jane would get a day off and a good rest.

So she left her beautiful friend to sleep, tiptoeing downstairs, turning her home phone on silent, and quietly locking the door behind her.

But unfortunately, an hour after she left they had both been called in. Even when Maura answered the incoming call at the station, she had still hoped that Jane hadn't been called in. That it was just her called to the scene.

But no such luck. She had pulled up to the crime scene and spotted Jane's undercover already parked out front beside Korsaks wagon with a cute stray dog in the backseat.

"I made plans earlier in the week Jane. It was unavoidable."

Jane keeps her back to Maura and her eyes downward.

"I'm sorry Jane. You looked so peaceful that I really didn't want to wake you up."

Jane grunts as if she isn't bothered by it even though her body language disagrees.

Maura frowns, "I don't understand why you're upset with me Jane."

"Because." Jane snaps as she turns, face flushed again with a variety of emotions.

Maura sighs sadly because she can't understand, she never could understand people and there emotions

Jane more frustrated that she can't figure out her own emotions more that anything. Why was she was hurt that Maura had run off and left her to wake up alone. It had never bothered her before and it shouldn't bother her now. Not much bothered her before.

But somehow it did. It was confusing. It didn't make sense. It wasn't like she cares about Maura more now than before. Yet somehow her tough persona had flown out the window and she almost had to fight to hold back tears.

"Forgive me?" Maura whispers pretending she understands what she has done.

Jane crumbles then, that statement. She rubs her fingers across her eyebrows and then shakes her head, 'No...no you're done nothing Maur. I'm sorry, I...It doesn't matter ok. I'm sorry."

Maura smiles. At the least to ease the tension. It's weird to watch Jane break down and apologize. But lately she hasn't been able to figure out any of Jane's ups and downs and in this moment of vulnerability she knows would be a terrible place to start.

Jane smiles weakly back, but her eyes are sad and confused. Secretive perhaps.

Maura ponders for a moment, maybe Jane was scared of the unsub. The stalker. Naturally...this guy was after her and he could potentially be worse than the surgeon. Perhaps that fear did explain everything. Jane had been especially cranky when things got out of control and when her family and friends were in danger she had become reckless and emotional.

"I shouldn't have left you alone Jane. I won't again."

Jane rubs her palms together harshly, the feeling of guilt crushing her again. She is almost sad that Maura can't read her guilt. Force an end to her charade. But she hides her guilt too well and forces her tough brave face to the front, "I'm fine Maura. Really."

Maura reaches out her arm giving Jane's shoulder a gently squeeze, mostly grateful Jane wasn't upset at her anymore.

"Where did you go anyway?" Jane asks softly.

Maura pauses, almost dramatically, holding her breath and looking around the room for any way to change the subject from that.

She can tell Jane notices. Jane always notices. The little arch up on the corner of her mouth tells Maura that for definite.

"Oh...well...um..." A deep calming breath because she just realized something that is the perfect cover, "Jane...this place is a single story, right?"

"Um?...Well...yes it is a single story, Doctor Isles. Is that pertinent to the case?"

"Not directly. But It does make me wonder where Korsak went."

* * *

Maura had chewed her lip a few seconds before she let her knuckles rap twice on the glass door.

She could see Nina on the other side, head down and engrossed in something on her screen.

Nina didn't look like early Saturday mornings at the office were unusual for her, but then Nina, like Maura, never went anyway unprepared for what may lie ahead.

"Come in." Nina calls out without looking up.

Maura pauses with her hand on the door handle, uncertainty a sharp pain in her chest.

Finally she pushes the door open and is met with a bright warm smile.

"Dr. Isles. Maura. How wonderful to see you this morning."

"Detective Holiday." Maura replies giving a nod and a smile that is laced with worry.

"Please, call me Nina. So, here I am, half-six like we arranged, and I am completely at your service."

Maura nods but doesn't reply, "I am wondering if you can do me a...favor."

"A favor?"

"Yes."

A slightly raised eyebrow, "Uhhhh...What is it?"

"Maybe I have it wrong, but my understanding it that's when you do something personal for me which I will then repay one day when you need something from me. So long as it is legal. And is not against the persons morals or religious beliefs. And-"

Nina chuckles softly and places her hand on Maura's arm to stop her speaking, "I do know what a favor is. I've never heard you ask for one."

"I never have." Maura replies playing with the ring on her finger. She had witnessed Jane use 'favors' hundreds of times with varied success, but usually positive. She doesn't recall Jane being asked to do any favors which gave her hope that she wouldn't ever be asked to repay a favor with something she didn't wish to do. Of course she would always help out a friend in any way she could and without worrying about the cost. But, for starters, she didn't know if Nina was a friend. Although it seemed to be a way to get what you needed, she had her doubts. But she needed un-official help and department resources without anyone finding out. And this seemed like it may be a safe way to achieve her purpose.

"Then I'm honored to be your first ever favor. Sit. Talk." Nina motions to the chair beside her, "You look quite nervous."

Maura straightens her skirt down the back of her legs as she sits carefully in the offered chair, "I am."

"Well then, I'm feeling a little nervous too. This must be some huge first favor that's got you so nervous."

Maura nods softly while she studies Nina. Dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin and a glowing white smile. Nina always appeared to her to be far to delicate for field work, and far to kind for police work. But here she is, kind and tender and tough in the field. And dating her very best friends brother, the brother that kissed her that one time, the brother that held her arms for hours when she thought she was holding a bomb.

If it wasn't for her love of Jane she might have dated him because he was sweet and loyal...like Jane. But Nina is a far better match for him. And she gets to keep Jane.

Nina raises an eyebrow at the pause.

Maura so wants to trust this wonderful person and perhaps even friend. Nina who agreed to meet without knowing why on a Saturday and is already willing to do a favor for her.

"It won't break the law will it?" Nina asks her smile unfaltering.

"No. Never again."

"Again?" Nina asks her smile dropping slightly replaced by surprise, "I was kidding. But I want to know more about that statement later."

Maura laughs letting the tension and fear fall away. Frankie has certainly keep her secret for her.

"It had to be a keep confidential."

"Scout's honor." Nina says holding her hand up in a promissory gesture.

"I was wondering what you could find out about a phone number for me."

"If it's a favor then I am guessing it's not to do with a case."

"No." Maura confirms, "You won't get in trouble doing this?"

For a moment Nina looks more serious than Maura has ever seen her, "Are _you_ in any sort of trouble Maura?"

Maura shakes her head slowly, Not her...Jane.

"You're not being harassed or something? Because I know Jane would deal with anyone causing you any problems. Big or small."

Maura's frown grows deep, "Jane must not know about this. Or BPD. That's why I have come to you. But, No, I am not being harassed or threatened or anything like that."

Nina ponders this information carefully for a moment leaving a worried M.E. to awkwardly squirm in her seat.

"It's important Nina. It really is."

"Well..." Nina says softly, "Ok. So what I can find out depends on what sort of trail the owner of the phone left. But I can certainly look for you and I can probably track it and keep you updated if that is what you need."

"And you won't tell Jane?"

"I promise."

Maura's relief is visual and she can finally smile for real, "Thank you so much."

Nina returns the smile, "Great. But since you didn't want to talk about this over the phone, or around Jane...how do you want me to let you know what I do find out?"

Maura thinks for a moment before answering, "We will have to come up with a cipher. I have always loved cryptography."

"When you were a kid? Me too." Nina says beaming with excitement.

"Uh...yeah, a kid." Maura nods hoping Nina can't tell how excited she is to do this as an adult.

"Ok sure. No problem. So what's the number of this phone?"

* * *

...to be continued...


	6. Chapter 6

I'll be honest...not enough reviews. Not enough interest. Am I on the right track or should I quit this story?  
Thanks to those that did comment...love you guys and your honesty.  
Luv Jam XxX

* * *

CHAPTER 6

* * *

Maura answered her phone on the second ring, "Doctor Isles."

 _"Hey Maura."_ Nina's voice comes through the earpiece. Maura wonders if Nina is ever sad or down because she never sounds it.

"Hi det- I mean Nina"

Jane looks up abruptly from her coffee and meets Maura's gaze. Maura smiles weakly before turning away.

 _"Is now good to talk Maura?"_

Maura glances over her shoulder at Jane who is watching her.

"One second." Maura says as she takes her phone into the front room where Jane won't be able to hear. It's been two days and a few code words. But Nina asked to call her about something.

"Okay, I am ready."

 _"Well. It's definitely a burner phone. Haven't been able to get much off it. But the phone hasn't been off at all so I've got a few locations for you."_

Maura takes a deep breath in. She feels nervous, like she is breaking the law.

 _"Over the last few days, most of the location pings have been near or at BPD."_

"And right now?"

 _"It's by your house. I can't get an exact location but it will be within a quarter mile of your house right now."_

"Okay. I'm at my house." Maura parts the curtain looking out onto the road searching for the undercover car that must be nearby.

She see's nothing. But figuring that is to be expected if her and Jane are under surveillance.

 _"Are you sure everything is ok Maura?"_

"Yeah...yes...fine. You messaged that it had been at Jane's too."

 _"Yes. And yesterday it was at the somewhere on east third street."_

"Jane was at a crime scene there." Maura mutters under her breath.

 _"Plus a cafe near the station, the coffee shop on the corner a few times. And...at Frankie and my place...which I don't understand."_

"Oh." Maura says softly, her brain trying to put the same surveillance detail at all those places, "Yes that makes sense because Jane visits him."

 _"Is the phone Jane's?"_

Maura shakes her head

 _"Maura?"_

Maura takes a breath as she peeks through the door into the living room where Jane is.

"No. I...I don't think so."

Jane is reading a sports magazine and rubbing her forehead. Every few minutes she glances at the door Maura stands behind.

"Can you...could you call it?"

 _"Sure. I'll block my number."_

Maura holds her breath as she pushes the door open wider. If Jane goes for it, or if she hears it ring, she will know. She wants to know.

 _"It's ringing now."_ Nina informs her softly.

Maura watches Jane. Watches for any reaction. But nothing. Other than a slight clench of her jaw, she is flipping through the pages with a soft frown, eyes near the top of the page so she could be ready to glance up and watch the door Maura stands behind.

And Maura feels confused now. She isn't sure if she is relieved. She isn't sure what she thought was happening exactly.

 _"It just rings. No voicemail."_ Nina lets her know.

"Thank you Nina."

 _"No problem Maura."_

"What did you want to talk to me about?"

 _"Oh...about the ping being at our place, Frankie and I. But I think I understand now...someone is following Jane?"_

Maura sighs, "Someone is."

 _"FBI, CIA...?"_

"I am not completely sure...but yes they are on our side. Or at least the good guys."

 _"Do you know why?"_

"I can't say...I'm sorry Nina. I...I can't..."

 _"That's ok. I understand Maura. Please be safe and call if you need me."_

"I will."

Maura hangs up and leans against the doorjamb. The owner of the phone must be following Jane. It doesn't explain the strange phone Jane had.

She walks back into her living room and is met by Jane's intense brown searching eyes.

"Everything ok?" Jane questions non-commitally.

"Yes." Simple and short is her saving grace.

"A case?" Jane asks.

Maura nods and smiles softly. She loves the way Jane worries for her and protects her.

"You should charge extra when it's after hours." Jane says with chuckle.

Maura touches Jane's shoulder as she passes. She doesn't know why but she wants comfort from her friend right now.

"Shall we watch this game then?"

Jane smiles and nods and they move to sit on the couch side by side, Maura shifting closer than usual to Jane so just their shoulders are touching.

"Are you ok Maur?"

Maura sighs and leans into Jane further, "I just worry...I hope nothing bad happens."

Jane knows what she's referring too and reaches over to touch Maura's hand.

"I'll keep you safe. I promise."

"You always have." Maura replies.

The sweet moment is broken by Jane's cellphone ringing. Followed by Maura's.

"The game may have to wait."

"Rizzoli.", "Isles"

They say in unison.

* * *

The problem was how smart Maura's was.

Usually Jane liked it...sometimes the 'show all your work' process of Maura's mind annoyed her...but the rest of the time she felt special, receiving all these new tid-bits of information, having her own form of Siri to answer her questions.

And because Maura kept very little to herself, Jane almost always knew where she stood in their friendship. Trust, which was usually difficult for Jane because of her career path, was particularly easy with Maura. Maybe even more-so when Maura couldn't lie, but more trust than she had with most friendships and relationships in her life.

But right now, Maura's smarts scared Jane.

Perhaps she had been naive at the start, foolishly thinking Maura wouldn't figure it out.

And at first she thought she would get away with it. But Maura had been able to keep the secret about the threat from her...rephrased...Maura had successfully kept a secret from Jane. That had not happened before. Never.  
Usually Maura would have been ambivalent and emotional. Jane expected Maura to slip up or to confide in her out of necessity. But she hadn't.

And then there were the other things.

The secret meeting she had snuck out to.  
Kent asking if the 'phone thing' was sorted.  
Nina calling Maura and Maura leaving the room to talk...followed by the vibration of the burner phone in her bag she had to ignore. It was from an unknown number.  
She had caught Maura poking around in her bag at work once searching for something.  
Then there was those glances, those frowns.  
Maura eyeing up Jane's hall drawer as she walked past. Looking intently in Jane's desk drawer when she had pulled it open.  
Glancing over her shoulder more often and playing with her ring in silence more often.

Maura being more observant about things. Maura wasn't usually like this.

She didn't usually watch Jane so closely.

Every movement seemingly recorded into that big brain.

It would be unlike Maura to NOT be piecing it all together subconsciously.

And so Jane needed a plan.

Jane needed to hide the burner phone...and not just leave it at home...because what if Maura texted it...what if Maura needed help...It wouldn't be the first time.

 _10:34am 'Is Jane ok. I can't get hold of her.'  
_ _10:35am 'She is fine. We have eyes on her.'_

 _8:44pm 'I think someone is following me. Is it the un-sub?'  
_ _8:46pm "No. You are perfectly safe. We will keep you safe."_

 _2:02pm "Are you doing anything to catch this guy? Why has nothing happened yet?"  
_ _2:05pm "We are doing everything within our power. We are getting closer everyday."_

She had made it a habit of replying immediately to any of Maura's concerns, just as any official agency would do.

So Jane came up with her own plan.

* * *

"Hey Frankie...You know that favor you owe me..."

Frankie rubs his eyes and leans against his apartment doorway blocking entry. "No?"

Jane looks at him eyebrows raised, then past him, then at him again.

"What?" He asks confused.

"Aren't you going to invite me in little brother?"

Frankie sighs as he steps back opening the door wide and stretching his arm to indicate she may enter.

"What do I owe you a favor for?"

Jane strides past him and perches herself on the barstool and helps herself out of the bowl of crisps on the counter.

"Help yourself." Frankie mutters before sitting beside Jane.

Jane eats a few chips and smiles at him in a way that has him worried.

"Do you remember that family dinner a few years back...on your and Nina's one year anniversary? The one where you wanted to leave to go home and...well...you know...Ma..." Jane winks at him, "She was going to talk wedding plans and and the pitter patter of feet allllllll night long?"

Frankie sighs heavily, he does remember, and he remembers dragging Jane into the living room and begging to do anything for her to help them leave so they could spend what was left their anniversary alone together without upsetting Ma.

'You'll owe me big' Jane had said at the time.

"Remember how I distracted Ma by asking her to set me up on a blind date...and then you two were able to leave?"

Frankie nods and smiles at the memory of what came next for Jane.

"No...you don't get to smile...I couldn't get out of that date. I had to go...and it was bloody awful. I had to call Maura and make her fake an emergency halfway through to get me away from him...and then she had a panic attack about having to lie and so I ended up spending a sleepless night at Maura's to make sure she was ok."

Frankie can't hide the smile and Jane glares at him angrily which makes him laugh, "I'm sorry Jane but that was the worst distraction you've ever used."

"Ma. Plus wedding plans...Nothing else would have worked. So stop being amused."

"I know, I know...I'm sorry." Frankie says with a grin.

Jane thumps him in the arm.

"Ouch."

"You and Nina had a _wonderful_ anniversary together...alone. I had a terrible date and a sleepless night...So you _owe_ me big."

Frankie nods solemnly as he rubs his arm, "I do owe you. What do you need Janie?"

"Firstly...you talk to no one about this."

"Fine."

"I need you to safeguard a phone for me...no questions asked. You may not answer the phone if it rings. I need you to let me know _immediately_ if the phone receives a text and tell me what the text says. And also I may need you to text a message from the phone for me as well. It must be on at all times. It will only be for a few weeks I think."

Frankie frowns in his usual way, "Is it a case?"

"No questions Frankie. I mean it. It's top secret."

"Right. Ok. Sounds simple." Frankie says, remarkably happy that the 'owe her big' seems easy enough. Not like some favors he has had to repay in the past. "How will I know who to text?"

"There is only one number in the phone." Jane says pulling the phone and charger out of her pocket and holding it out to him.

"Is it someone I know?" Frankie asks grasping the phone.

Jane doesn't let go of it yet, she knows one glance at the saved number and he would recognize it anyway.

"You agree to my conditions?"

"I guess...sure."

"It is Maura's number."

Frankie's mouth drops open, "What?"

"No questions." Jane reminds him.

"But...is she in trouble?" Frankie can't help but inquire.

"No."

"I don't get it."

"You don't need to get it. You just need to do this...So...are we good?"

Frankie nods and so Jane releases the phone into his care with some final instructions, "Only text what I say, don't let Maura see this phone, don't let anyone see or know about this phone...and never say a word to anyone about this...ever."

Frankie nods again.

Jane smiles at him softly, "Don't worry, everything is fine. I promise. You're a great brother. Thank you."

Frankie smiles back. He hopes it really is all fine. And the compliment seals the deal.

* * *

The case closed later that afternoon and celebratory drinks were had at the robber.

Jane hadn't heard a peep from Frankie during the day so she knew all was quiet and well. She had backed off the 'Maura dates', firstly since she had been busy at work anyway and secondly because she knew that it had to end soon, involving her brother was the last straw, it was never meant to get this big or involve anyone else...now that it had she would wind it down faster, she had to.

Maura had been busier than usual lately as well. A handful of out of state autopsies had flooded in on top of her usual workload. The new cases had brought with them a few old colleagues of Maura's to BPD.

One old colleague, Brent from Florida, was a gentleman that had attended the same college as Maura back in the day.

As far as Jane could grimly tell, he was interested in her friend on a less than professional level.

She scowled as she watched him flirt with Maura across the room, clenching her bottle of beer with a white-knuckled death grip.

She was drinking far too much, ignoring her own colleagues for the most part, just to prevent her reacting to the situation.

She was so distracted she didn't even notice Nina had sat down next to her.

"What's gonna happen when Maura finds out?"

Jane freezes, her heart jumps into her throat. She takes a moment to breathe and think taking a sip of beer to cover the silence. Fortunately her training has taught her how to stop her natural reaction and maintain full self-control. But she can't help that her throat has closed up and the fizz of the now warm beer is threatening to escape another way, by tickling her nostrils. She holds the mouthful and tries to casually take the bottle away. It burns the back of her throat and makes her eyes water.

Nina watches the non-reaction with amusement.

Jane puts the beer down and tries to act casual, swallowing heavily and painfully and turning to Nina pretending she doesn't know what Nina is referring to, "Huh?"

"It's obvious." Nina says as she raises her eyebrows, "Really? You're going to deny it."

Jane stares at Nina, trying to read her brothers fiancee, what she thinks, what she knows. Has Frankie said something, did someone see her interrogate Maura upstairs at bpd.

She swears silently under her breath.

"You've been watching Maura without blinking for a full four minutes."

Jane glances back to Maura, almost relieved that Nina is making an observation not an accusation.

"I Yeah...S-sorry...I might have been...I'm worried about her."

Nina sighs and shakes her head causing Jane to look back quickly.

"What Nina?"

"I've been sitting here for over ten minutes. The way you look at her friend Brent, like he is an intruder...and then you look at her like...It's not concern. I think that you might...love her."

Jane lets her mouth sag open, wide. Its shock, or surprise. Because even if she believed it herself, which she wouldn't commit to, she wouldn't think anyone else would notice anything different in her. She feels the same about Maura...mostly.

"It's obvious you know. You watch her in the way Frankie watches me. Those looks you give her. Maybe you should just tell her."

Jane swallows, "I'm not. I don't. I...not like that. She's my best friend, she is family. I love and care about her like _family._ I look out for the people I care about. There is nothing to tell her." Jane tries to downplay it but she has already felt her neck heat up and she is pretty sure she is perspiring.

Nina shakes her head softly, "Try telling that to your warm beer."

"It's not...I don't..." Jane scowls, she hates being readable to any degree, and she hates not having a defense.

"She watches you too." Nina continues thoughtfully, "Mostly when you're working. Busy. Distracted. Always when you're stressed or not steeping and eating properly. I've seen it since I started working here in Boston. I think she has always taking more notice of you than anyone else."

Jane frowns softly turning to look in Maura's direction again.

She catches Maura watching her back, disengaged momentarily in the conversation of her peers.

They hold each others gaze for a half second, then Maura looks away joining back in the conversation as if she never left but the frown stays crinkled across her brow.

"She does?" It comes out as barely a whisper.

Nina laughs softly, "You two really are perfect for each other. Both oblivious. I guess that's why you are such good friends huh?"

"Yeah." Jane replies absent-mindedly. She didn't think Maura was the type to be oblivious. But then she didn't think she was either.

But she is distracted by Maura's movements, how her body is turned away slightly from Brent, how whenever he talks she leans away from him, how she cringes slightly when he touches her anywhere.

"Why don't you just talk to her?" Nina offers.

Jane snorts and shrugs, "It's complicated."

"Does it need to be?"

"No." Jane replies defensively, "But it is. And she isn't. And I'm not anyway."

"You don't fool me." Nina says with such confidence that Jane looses hers.

She want's to growl at Nina, but she knows that would only confirm Nina's point completely, "I am happy and I don't want anything to change. She is my best friend. And besides...she likes guys. And I am not a guy."

"So then you admit that you do like her?"

Jane growls again under her breath, "No. I don't want to talk about it."

Nina sips her beer with a smirk. Jane won't admit but she didn't deny it. Most of BPD already thought their relationship was intimate, and if it wasn't, no males would ask to date either of them anyway.

Nina watches Jane get distracted once more watching Maura, she wishes she could show Jane how obvious she is without having to deal with the repercussions.

The pause is so long that Nina is about to leave, then Jane speaks catching her by surprise.

"She doesn't like me like that. She is just worried about me...and that's my fault."

"Well...then she has been worried about you for many years."

Jane frowns and clears her throat, she can't talk about this right now, "So how is my brother? behaving himself?"

Nina laughs softly and shrugs, "No less than usual."

Jane can't help but smile as she looks over to the other side of the room at Frankie who is playing darts with Korsak. She spots the extra bump in his pocket and knows that is her link to Maura, close enough to be useful, distant enough to not be a liability to her.  
This way Maura would never know.

Jane raises her arm to order another beer.  
She would keep drinking until Maura was finished chatting to her out-of-town-friends, or colleagues, about their respective jobs cutting up dead people. She would try to ignore Brent hitting on Maura. She tried not to imagine herself grabbing his wrist when he tried to touch Maura's arse and breaking it. She tried not to imagine grabbing Maura around the waist and dragging her away from him, grabbing her the way she had in the alleyway, holding her and keeping everyone else away. She hoped Maura would leave them soon, leave him, and come and sit with her like they usually did. So she could smile like she wanted too and relax and laugh and enjoy her night.  
Either way, it wouldn't matter soon, because with enough alcohol she wouldn't care anymore, or at least she wouldn't care for the rest of the night.

Quite possibly she could forget this night entirely with enough beer.

* * *

...to be continued...


	7. Chapter 7

Long chapter :)  
My surgery went as well as can be expected. Thank you for every comment, support and prayer you sent to me.  
What I didn't know was that after major abdominal surgery i would be completely uninspired to write anything :/ I really _really_ hope this isn't a permanent thing.  
Since it's been some time since I last posted and I cannot write **anything new,** or add emotion to anything existing. So...for something to do or perhaps kick me into becoming inspired...I decided to try and tidy up what I had already written for this story since I ran out of time to finish it before I had surgery. To me it's fairly raw and parts are a bit detached and it's far too long but I couldn't figure out where the breaks should be or what I was doing really. Feedback could be helpful but I can't promise I can fix anything. I probably have enough rough content written that with a bit of tweaking I should be able to complete the story...it won't be my best work but it's something. :) I have missed you all.  
And happy new year to everyone!

xxx JAM xxx

* * *

 **CHAPTER 7**

It wasn't her usual nightmare, the ones where she panicked before bolting upright with a gasp, always ready to take on whatever perceived danger threatened her. Or even holding back to assess the situation.

It was the type where Jane grabbed hold of whatever was close to her with a whimper, usually it turned out to be a cushion or pillow, but in this bed her arms wrapped so tight around Maura's middle that Maura woke surprised at the movement and unable to move.

"Jane" Maura whispers.

Jane wakes surprised, then suddenly aware of her bodies proximity to Maura. Pulling away quickly with a whispered sorry.

"You don't need to be sorry Jane. Ever. What...what were you dreaming?"

Jane sighs and inches slightly closer to Maura again.

She couldn't remember going to bed. She couldn't think why she was at Maura's. Her mouth was dry and her head spun a little.

"Did I get drunk?" Jane asks thinking it's the only possible conclusion to her symptoms.

"A little bit." Maura laughs. She won't mention how Jane couldn't complete a sentence by the time she sat down next to Jane. Or that Jane fell off her chair shortly afterward. How Jane had gripped Maura's arm when she helped her up off the ground tightly and refused to let go. How her breath smelled of beer as she mumbled drunkly about Maura's weird friends before asking for help to get home. She won't mention that after she said goodbye to Brent and the other people in order to take Jane home, that Jane had glared darkly at Brent. And that Jane had hugged Maura tightly burying her face in Maura's neck and whispered, pleading, _'Don't run off with him. Don't leave me again.'_ She won't mention that her offer for Jane to come back to her place resulted in Jane jokingly asking with a heavy slur, ' _Is thiss your way of tellin meee you're attracted to meee?'_

Or that Jane stripped to her black underwear in front of Maura as if she was completely alone, leaving her clothing scattered on the floor before falling onto the bedcovers snoring almost immediately.

Jane blinks in the almost darkness trying to put her dream into words, "I dreamt I was losing you...I think. You said you didn't want to be my friend anymore..."

Maura tries to roll over to face Jane but Jane stops her by holding onto her nightgown. She turns her head to try to see Jane's. She glimpses wet eyes staring at her back in the low light before Jane hides her face.

"Jane. That won't ever happen. Just relax. Go back to sleep. Everything is perfectly fine."

"What if..." Jane begins with a frown, "...I do something really _really_ stupid and you hate me for it?"

"Like scare off any potential suitors?" Maura tries to joke.

"Did I do that?"

Maura laughs softly, "No. Yes. Not exactly."

Jane laughs as well, she sort of hopes she did, there is a part of her that she denies, the part of her that wants Maura all to herself.

Silence again and then her dream of Maura angry at and turning to walk away pushes into her mind again.

"What if I really screw up our friendship Maur?"

"Haven't we both already done that?"

"What if it isn't like those times...what if it's worse?"

"Where is this coming from?"

Jane sighs, how can she answer that. She knows why reality is invading her dreams. Why her fears are starting to hurt her.

Maura tries to roll over further but Jane wraps her arm around Maura's waist to hold her in place. She knows there is every chance that Maura could read her too easily.

"Jane..."

"If...if i've done something really _really_ bad?" It was a broken complex whisper that almost breaks Maura's heart.

"You don't do bad things Jane. You always try to do your best. You care about people Jane...you wouldn't hurt me."

Jane swallows the lump in her throat, "But...what if...what if I do?"

"Jane, You'd never screw up our friendship. I might get mad at you but I will always _always_ forgive you. Like the other times. I promise you that. Please Jane..."

Jane relaxes slightly with a sigh, and Maura can finally roll over so she is facing Jane.

"I fear losing you too Jane...your job is so dangerous, as well as this person that wan-..."

She freezes and it takes Jane a sobering moment to understand why.

"Sorry."

Instead of replying, Jane wraps her arms around Maura's shoulders and pulls her into a gentle hug. Perhaps they shouldn't talk. Perhaps she shouldn't think. Perhaps she should keep her fears to herself do she doesn't make it worse.

She can feel Maura's pulse beating against her ear. It slows down and becomes steady. And Jane hopes that her dream stays just that, a dream.

She knows Maura must never find out what she did...because what she has done shouldn't be forgivable. It would hurt Maura even if she had the best reasons in the world. The thought sends a shiver down her spine.

Maura seems to hold her tighter and she wishes it was for a different reason.

She wishes it was because she had been able to be honest...about everything.

And in the safety and warmth Jane drifts off into a dreamless sleep.

Jane wakes later, alone, but she can hear Maura downstairs in the kitchen humming along to a tune on the radio.

And she smiles because Maura is keeping her promise to not run off on Jane again.

But she vaguely remembers her question.

 _'_ _What if i've done something really really bad'_

She bites her lip and climbs out of the bed grabbing her folded clothes from the night before off the back of the chair and slips them on before heading to the bathroom to freshen up and then downstairs towards the smell of pancakes and coffee.

Maura looks up and Jane grins her award winning smile.

Maura gives a weak smile back.

"What?" Jane asks as she walks around the counter to pour herself a coffee.

"Nothing" Maura lies turning back to the stove.

"You'll get hives." Jane grins as she reaches out to gently touch Maura's shoulder wondering why she keeps doing these physical gestures.

"I got mail." Maura replies sadly not responding to the touch.

Jane pulls her hand away reluctantly before poking through the pile of papers on the counter.

It's the one on top she knows has Maura upset.

An invite to a charity event the following weekend for a _'Ms Maura Isles, plus one._ ' The calligraphy was beautifully embossed in gold on the scented and patterned card.

"I see...while most of of get upset over final notices for bills we can't afford...you manage to make exclusive invites to special events the new evil in the world."

"Jane." Maura growls.

"So what...you don't feel like crowdfunding for the poor kids that are deprived of higher education next week?"

"Read the back."

Jane flips the invite to read the back and immediately recognizes Constances' firm business like handwriting,

 _'_ _Plus one my darling. See you there. Constance Isles.'_

"Ahhh" Jane says out loud and she drops the invite back on the pile of papers, "Your mother is a little bit like mine after all."

Maura sighs loudly, "I have to go. To keep up appearances. But the truth is I would rather not."

"Why not? I thought you liked getting dressed up and strutting around in front of all the self deluded rich narcissist males there."

Maura turns with the frypan and begins to put the food on the plates while giving Jane 'a look'.

"Firstly I never _strut_. Secondly, they aren't all self-deluded. Thirdly, It it isn't choice."

"But you do like the attention you get even if you pretend you don't."

Maura looks up noting Jane's unusual expression.

"Don't you?"

Jane shrugs, "Not really."

Maura pours maple syrup on Jane's pancakes before sliding the plate to her friend and sitting down beside her.

"So you don't want to go because your mother is making you?" Jane asks before filling her mouth with pancake.

Maura shrugs almost exactly like Jane just had and Jane tries not to laugh for fear of choking.

Maura wants to say 'I don't want to leave you alone with that psycho stalker out there after you.'

"Yes. Also it's so political. I don't want to go."

"So don't go."

Maura sighs loudly, "I have to go...I'm expected. And it's for a good cause."

"Seriously? You are the Chief Medical Examiner, Maura. The major calls you personally _on your cellphone_. Unless this event is in a different state, if you don't want to go...don't. No one is gonna mess with what you want or don't want...not with how skilled you are with a scalpel and a bone saw."

This gets Jane a dimpled smile and chuckle.

"You liked that huh?" Jane laughs softly.

"My mother might disown me." Maura says with a laugh, as if that wouldn't be the worst idea in the world.

"My Ma would take you in." Jane smirks.

Maura laughs and sits down on the barstool beside Jane.

"Angela would probably even like that."

Jane nods her head, "She'd love that, but she would set you up on all the worst surprise dates."

"What's a surprise date?"

"The type where you arrive for family dinner and 'surprise' - you and a man you've never met are the only ones in the house."

"Ohhh." Maura says with wide-eyes grateful her own mother never tried anything like that.

"Yeah...ohhhh."

Jane grins to herself imagining Maura trying to politely reject someone in her tactful truthful way.

"Ok...Maybe I can get you out of it. Something convincing for your mother. I had lots of practice getting out of things at school." Jane says with a grin and a twinkle in her eye.

Maura looks up surprised, "I bet you did...Ok what's your plan?"

Jane keeps the grin wide, "I could call the governor and have him demand you work instead."

"You have his number?"

"My neighbor is sick...I'll have them cough all over you. Completely gross but effective because you can't go if you're sick."

Maura screws up her face and shakes her head but has a subtle smile on her lips, "I couldn't work either."

"Right...ok...I could ask your father to whack a really really bad guy...kkkazaaaam...new case...very busy."

Maura laughs heartily, "That isn't at all extreme."

Jane smiles, Maura's rare moments of sarcasm are endearing.

"I could..." Jane pauses. Texting Maura an emergency during the event from the burner phone might be obvious but also mean to Maura, "call you while you're on your way with a fake emergency?"

"What emergency Jane...someone died."

Jane pulls a face of annoyance at herself for not thinking of a good escape.

Maura sighs again although not as loudly, "I don't want to take anyone."

That's when Jane realizes that Maura doesn't mind going...it's all the expectations of her mother that are causing the problem, "Then don't take anyone. Just go by yourself."

"I can't." It's almost a whisper.

"You can." Jane whispers back.

It doesn't get a smile out of Maura who just sighs again, "Mother...she would be disappointed."

"Then..uh...you could...take my brother." Jane scowls up her face as she says it. It's all she can think to offer to help her friend. Thankfully Frankie is taken so at least she won't need to worry about the two of them getting too cosy.

"I don't want to take your brother, Jane."

"I know, sorry. Sorry. Stupid idea."

"You could come Jane."

Jane snorts a laugh, "Your mother would prefer _that_ than you going alone?"

Maura chews her lip for a moment in silence before turning to Jane, "I can't go alone and...I don't want to leave you either."

Janes smile drops as guilt hits again, a feeling she could have gotten used to for the amount of time she carried it, "I will be fine Maur. You don't have to take me."

Maura studies her friends face for a moment wondering about the loss of enthusiasm, "But Jane, I _want_ you to come with me."

Jane lets her mouth drop open slightly as her brain attempts to read something between the lines.

"What?" She asks looking like a possum in headlights before shaking her head, "You don't want me there...I embarrass you."

Maura smiles softly "No you don't, not so much. You can be my plus one."

Jane frowns a little hurt at herself that she thought the offer was other than plutonic, "Seriously Maura, you're being ridiculous."

Maura glares at Jane, "I am not being ridiculous. I want you to come with me. And you don't have anything better to do."

Jane chews her lip in thought, it's the word 'want' that keeps making her think Maura is implying something more than a friend. "I..."

Maura looks forlorn or perhaps desperate as she raises her eyebrows and chews her lip waiting for Jane to respond.

"Really?" Jane growls but Maura cant tell if its because of the pleading puppy dog manipulation she is attempting pull off, or just that Jane doesn't really want to go at all.

"They will have that expensive wine you really liked." Maura tries with a smile

"Mmmmmm" Jane offers unconvinced it's enough.

"Gift bags...I heard there would be gift bags at the door for each guest."

Jane tilts her head side to side weighing up the many cons against the pro. She loves gift bags, free exclusive things she gets to play with.

"You will have to wear a dress though." Maura says with a pout.

The groan is loud, "I was going to say yes until you dumped that on me."

"Oh...well..." Maura gives Jane a hint of a sly smile, "...there will be food.

"You said that last time Maur. And there was no food."

"I promise you will be fed one way or another."

Jane raises an eyebrow, "...um..."

Maura pouts again and sighs defeatedly, "Well...If you _really_ don't want to go _with me_...then I will just go on my own."

Jane shakes her head at Maura in fake disgust. They both know it's complete manipulation but Jane knows she would never let Maura go alone anyway.

"It's not like I'm not _used_ to going alone." Maura says looking down at her shoes and fiddling with her ring letting herself pout fully.

Jane's hands drop away to her sides and she sighs loudly, "You've been practicing your guilt trip."

"I'm sure I can find someone there to entertain me anyway." Maura adds a small sniff at the end before looking up at Jane and practically batting her eyelids at her friend.

Jane turns and looks at Maura holding back a smirk, "Oh great idea Maura. Like last time? I thought you didn't much like prison orange."

Jane is secretly pleased she will go with Maura and not a guy, normal guy or otherwise.

Maura gently thumps Jane in the shoulder causing Jane to laugh, "Fine...I will go with you."

"Really?" Maura is truly surprised.

"Yes. You had me at gifts."

Despite Maura manipulating her, her own games and manipulation are one hundred times worse so she cannot begin to call the kettle black. She has been playing her own game, her own manipulation, and so if being a good friend is a small step towards penance then she will do it with a smile.

Maura smiles and claps her hands.

Jane smiles at the conservative type of happy dance.

"I have the perfect outfit Maur."

"No" Maura says clasping her hands together with a wide smile.

"What? I can't wear what I want?" Jane clenches her jaw and crosses her arms.

"No." Maura says again raising an eyebrow like this is a challenge but still smiling.

Jane squints back at Maura.

Maura tilts her head to the side, that bossy questioning which is more of a question of 'Do you really want to mess with me.'

Maura watches Jane's determination fade and she knows it's because Jane trusts her. Maura knows Jane's need to win is always lost when Maura asks.

Jane sighs in defeat, "Fine. You win."

Maura smiles triumphantly, "Great."

"Can choose how I do my hair...?"

"Of course Jane. You can wear your hair whatever way you would like." Maura says with a soft smile.

Jane does the smallest victory fist air thump.

"So it's a date?" Maura begs still a bit unsure it was that easy, "You'll come with me?"

"Yes Maur. And I will try not to embarrass you. But you can be the one to tell your mother."

Maura smiles, "It will be wonderful, I always enjoy it when we do things together."

Jane murmurs softly in agreement as if it's nothing even though it feels like everything to her.

Maura stands and hugs Jane as thank you pinning her arms to her sides, and Jane doesn't groan. Jane doesn't groan because she is happy.

Because Maura is taking _her_ instead of some guy. Because Maura _wants_ her and not someone else.

Maura lets go and begins to clean up the dishes.

"Oh Jane?"

"Yeah?" Jane says with a smile hoping the red flush she feels on her neck isn't obvious.

"I am most certain that you would really like to wear your hair _up_ to go with the dress I have picked out for you."

Jane, lost for words in the moment, can only laugh before she replies, "You are _sooooo_ sweet and gentle when you're being bossy."

* * *

The next few days involved Maura texting Jane pictures of the dress and shoes she would wear and when the limo would pick Jane up the following weekend. She felt more excited than she had over previous charity events.

And it wasn't excitement that Jane would be 'safe' by her side, but just that Jane would be by her side.

She felt prepared.

Nina was on top of the tracked phone letting her know of all changes.

She had told her mother that her plus one was female and had not been immediately un-invited.

Jane would be with her. Safe.

And they would have fun together like they always did.

But even the best laid plans never allow room for the some exceptions.

Because no amount of planning in the world could have prepared any of them for what happened on Monday night.

No amount of planning.

And that is precisely what Maura told herself while her heart was pounding faster than she could remember while Jane was sitting on top her, straddling her hips tightly and pinning her hands on the ground over her head...

It was perhaps a culmination of errors.

Or the universe had turned upside down.

It began just over an hour earlier when Nina texted Maura telling her the current location of the Internal Affairs phone.

The location was a 30 minute drive from Maura's. A reserve not far away known for having a few issues of late with violence.

An inquisitive mind that wonders why it is where it is...why it is not at bpd, the dirty robber, outside Jane's or in any other location it has been recently.

She had nothing planned for her evening.

And Jane's phone was off.

Maura started by texting the phone to ask where Jane was.

The phone however was in the jacket pocket on the backseat of an unmarked.

A text Frankie didn't reply to because he hadn't checked the phone after he turfed his coat on the backseat.

It was a last minute stakeout to catch a perp in the park.

And Jane was in the front seat with Frankie not aware her phone had died land aughing over some tv show Frankie was describing.

Jane's excellent planning to have Frankie look after the burner phone did not allow for that one in a million chance that they would end up on a last minute stakeout together, sitting side by side, near dusk, in an unmarked, off highway 16, watching an abandoned vehicle in a carpark beside a park reserve where unsolved crimes had occurred.

Neither Jane or Nina could possibly have guessed that Maura would put herself in danger while doing some snooping of her own.

And Maura perhaps didn't consider that walking around in a near abandoned yet public carpark on her own in the dark evening would attract the attention of someone specifically looking for any signs of movement.

Frankie saw the figure lurking around in the bushes near the abandoned car first.

Jane jumped out the car to approach down the person Frankie had pointed at.

None of them could not have contemplated, not in a million years, what would come next.

"Police Freeze." Jane had yelled at the top of her lungs pulling her gun out and taking a firing stance.

The figure turned around and ran away.

Blonde hair blurring any visible features against the silhouette of darkness.

Jane growled as she stuffed her gun back into its holder and started into a fast sprint after the unknown suspect mumbling something like 'why do they always run'. The suspect was not moving very fast which was later determined to be caused by the high heels.

Maura was running back to her car terrified Internal Affairs would arrest her for interfering in their case.

Jane followed as the suspect wove around trees letting out a small surprised and frightened squeal every so often. Seeing a clean opening between trees, Jane decided to cut the suspect off quickly before they reached the thicker bushes 10 meters further up the path.

She aimed low like she always did, being female it was simpler to offset the balance with a tackle than try to use sheer force, it worked on males double her size nine times out of ten.

Her arms precisely aimed wrapped neatly around the thighs and she gripped her fingers together to hold the lock. Her weight easily knocking the suspect to the ground.

Easier than usual.

Then Jane had to move quickly to immobilise the suspect before they could attempt to fight back or pull a knife on her. She had done this so many times now, getting quicker every time, learning how to do it without dislocating her shoulder, always sure to stay in control.

Her legs found a grip on either side of the suspects body.

Then the choice was to pull out her gun or grab for the wrists.

Based on the suspects squeal as they hit the ground and lack of resistance, Jane went for the wrists instead, rolling the suspect onto their back and pinning their hands to the ground.

The moment Maura's hair fell away from her face, it was Jane's turn to be frozen in surprise. The high pitch gasp that left her lips was one she hadn't heard before.

In that same moment backup arrived. Frankie with a torch in one hand and gun in the other almost blinding Maura who was smeared with mud across her face and clothing. From her collision with the wet ground.

And Jane too stunned to speak, also didn't move for a long moment before her brain caught up with everything.

"Shit. Maura? What the hell are you doing here?"

And Maura knew that she would have no choice but to tell the truth.

"Are you alright?" Frankie asks over Jane his eyes as wide as a possums.

Maura looks at him trying to ascertain how she is, she can't really check while she is still pinned to the ground, and her body is still for the most part in flight mode.

"Get of her Jane. Geez." Frankie says grabbing Jane's arm to pull her up.

Jane still in shock, her mouth partly open and her hands shaking finally shifts her weight off Maura's legs and let's go of Maura's wrists.

Maura pulls her hands together and begins to rub her wrists one at a time.

"Geez Jane. Did you seriously just rugby tackle Maura?"

Jane sits down on her knees beside Maura, face changed from shock to concern, "Shit. Shit. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't know. Did I hurt you?"

Frankie snorts a laugh, "Just look at her. She looks a wreck."

"No. I'm fine." Maura whispers hoarsely. Her lungs readjusting to the wind being knocked out of them.

Jane rubs her eyebrows with her fingers to relieve the tension.

"I've seen you tackle so many people Jane...I had no idea how...how it would feel."

Jane shakes her head bewildered, "Feel?"

"You're so...so strong."

Jane laughs weakly standing up and proving her strength by helping Maura to her feet carefully.

Maura, despite feeling a bit sore in places, notes that Jane looks more traumatized than she feels.

"I'm ok. Really I am. I just need a few minutes."

Jane nods and in a surprise move she wraps one arm around Maura's shoulders and the other arm around her waist pulling Maura hard against her chest.

And Maura sighs as if she finds relief when she didn't know she needed it.

"Bring the car over Frankie. And call this in." Jane demands over Maura's shoulder.

"What do you want me to say Jane. You've blown the operation tackling your bestie and now need a medical crew?"

Jane frowns at him unamused, "Tell them that there has been no sign of the suspect but if we were being watched we have probably blown our cover chasing a false lead and we need replacements."

"Fine." Frankie mumbles as he turns away and heads to the car leaving Jane and Maura in darkness.

"I'm so so sorry Maura."

Maura almost laughs suddenly noting the absurdity of the situation.

"I've seen you tackle people before. And you looked so..." _hot_. Maura can't say hot, "...skilled."

"Skilled. Did you hit your head?" Jane pulls back to check Maura over.

"No."

"Why on earth did you run?"

Maura sighs and pulls Jane back into the hug while taking in a deep breath which smelled of Jane, "I didn't know you were yelling at me...and I just thought I should get out of there before I got in the way."

"Why were you here Maur?"

"I...well...I followed you."

Jane pulls away and takes Maura's shoulders so they are face to face, although it is too dark to really see each other.

"You were worried about me?"

"Yes. Because...well...you know that I worry."

Jane thinks for a moment, about the reason Maura worries. Maura followed her, found her, almost got shot, definitely got tackled.

"I'm so glad you're ok. If something happened to you.." Jane frowns, "I hurt you..."

The area becomes lit by Frankie's headlights as he pulls off the road beside them. That's when Jane can see the mud streaked cheeks and tear stain patterns on them.

"Do I need to take you to hospital?" Jane offers softly brushing Maura's cheek with her thumb causing the smudge to worsen, "I keep hurting you."

Maura frowns, "It was my fault, and you usually make it a habit of saving me."

"I will fix this Maur. I'm sorry."

* * *

Maura didn't forget the way Jane gripped her hand as she pulled her to her feet. Or the way her friend gently brushed her cheek. Or the deep sorrow in those complex brown orbs she has for eyes.

As fast as the bruises vanished so did that look from Jane's face.

The more Jane relaxed the less attention was focused on the night in the carpark.

And that gave Maura plenty of time to build up excitement over the charity event.

She scolded herself on occasion that she was acting like a teenager headed to the school ball. Or at least the feelings seemed to match the behaviors she observed of her schoolmates.

She tried to tell herself that she shouldn't be excited. That she always got hurt when she got excited.

But as the event drew closer, she could only control herself in public.

It didn't feel like other times. Sure they had gone to events together, most often unplanned or for a case. Sure she had picked what Jane would wear on several of those occasions including them swapping clothes more than once. But it had been a case of what fitted Jane that was available.

This time she had purchased a dress specifically for Jane and specifically for this occasion.

And the dress had hung on the back of her wardrobe door for the last week.

And she had thought about what Jane would like like in it, how her hair would be, and if her shoes that matched the dress would be comfortable. She wondered if Jane would be accepting of being dressed up or if she would object.

And she fantasized about how they would look on the dance floor together, side by side, or perhaps arm in arm.

And by the time Saturday arrived, Maura could have got them both ready with her eyes closed.

The limo picked Jane up and she arrived at Maura's to change.

And Jane had a smirk in the corner of her mouth from the moment Maura brought the dress to her caressing the material between her fingers.

It was a delicate red fabric that matched her own black and red dress.

But the dress itself was no longer the centre of attention once Jane was wearing it.

Maura had of course seen a lot more skin when helping Jane dress than when the dress was fully on, but it was still perfection.

Maura had been absolutely right, it fitted Jane perfectly and highlighted her dark hair and features.

They laughed as they got ready together, and again Maura was reminded of some of the scenes she was once excluded from at boarding school.

And it wasn't only that she had never been interested in pillow fights and sleepovers...it was also that she had never been invited to them.

And when they left together, Jane's armed looped through hers for balance, she felt like the luckiest person in the world.

* * *

Jane touched Maura's shoulder gently again. It had happened several times without explanation. Maura would look at Jane for meaning but could find nothing so she concluded it was for safety or security.

This wasn't Jane's world although you couldn't have picked it.

She fitted in while standing out.

She was far from embarrassing.

She was stunning.

Not that Maura would admit it out loud, but it was often one of the reasons she always loved taking Jane with her. Stunning in any outfit even track pants and a teeshirt.

But in this dress, it took her breath away. She couldn't seem to get used to it.

Perhaps it was the legs, long and exposed, not hidden behind pants and boots like they usually were. Jane could have been a model. Tall and toned. Maura never really thought about other women in the way she had been about Jane for the last hour.

And usually it was Jane raising an eyebrow or giving a look to send men running away from them, but tonight the roles were reversed. It was Maura that had to keep shooing men away. Jane was hers tonight. In the dress she chose, her dark curly hair pulled to one side draping down over her right shoulder exposing the necklace she had picked to match the dress. The red jewel in the necklace resting on Jane's sternum which accentuated the plummeting neckline.

Jane was her plus one.

 _Hers._

And it had never been about the way Jane looked, it had been about how she felt when Jane didn't put her down. When Jane refuted her own ugly thoughts about herself. How Jane made her laugh when she was feeling down. How Jane didn't think she was weird. And how modest yet self-assured Jane was.

Gentle and loving yet brave and independent.

Jane had flushed pink when Maura's mother, Constance, had complemented her appearance, choosing to look at her feet when thanking her for the complement.

Maura had never been sure if Jane did not flaunt her body and features because she didn't think she was gorgeous enough or if it was because she didn't like the attention.

She was getting attention now and she wasn't hiding from it. She casually communicated with the others in the circle of people with whom they were chatting.

She still didn't flaunt herself.

She also didn't comment when she caught Maura practically ogling her either.

She gave a soft smile and her eyes sparkled through half open eyelids.

It wasn't much later that Maura had received a text from Internal affairs that caused her to frown. Jane frowned at her frown and Constance gave her a look of disapproval.

GET JANE ALONE.

Maura glanced at Jane first. Jane mouthed 'What's wrong'. Then Maura looks around the room for...something out of place. And when she looked back at Jane, Jane was scanning the room while confused.

Perhaps there was news or perhaps the unsub was here at the charity ball.

Maura swallows the lump in her throat as she reaches for Jane's hand.

"Please excuse us." Maura offers as she drags Jane towards the bathroom.

"Excuse us." Jane manages a deep and polite voice to the people in their group that watch them leave.

"Are you ok Maur?"

"I'll tell you in a minute."

Jane sighs as she steps ahead and pushes the restroom door open and holds it. Maura stops in the hall looking at Jane.

They are alone, unless someone needs to use the bathroom.

It wasn't private enough here.

"Come with me." Maura says holding out her hand to Jane.

Jane looks at the hand inquisitively, "Seriously?"

"Yes."

Jane places her hand tentatively in Maura's hand and Maura tugs her leading her further down the hall and around the corner.

Jane had resisted only slightly before following.

"Where are we going?".

"I don't know." Maura replies, it was possibly the first time in her life she was leading someone to an unknown location.

Her heart was beating faster than usual for two reasons, the first that she was so unsure about what was happening, the second was that she was assuming what could happen next. Maura turns another corner and then pulls Jane into a vacant room. She stopped and turned to face Jane, unsure of what would come next. Jane looks at her suspiciously.

"I'm sorry." Maura whispers.

"What is going on?" Jane replies with a whisper.

Maura shakes her head, she couldn't say, she couldn't...just in case it put Jane in danger, or herself.

"Maur?"

Maura always hated the way Jane said her nickname as a question and it takes all of her self control not to answer, not to crumble at the word, not to answer. It should have been impossible for her to resist, it had been impossible in the past, but this was life or death.

"Trust me Jane. Please."

Jane blinks and frowns, looking over her shoulder, looking for something that perhaps should be obvious, but they were alone.

Maura's phone buzzes again.

KISS HER ON THE LIPS.

Maura clutches her phone tightly and looks up at Jane. Her heart beats impossibly faster, palms suddenly hotter than ever before.

Jane, concerned, leans so close into Maura that Maura could feel her friends steady heartbeat.

"Are you in trouble?" Jane whispers in her ear, the breath tickling her and taking her breath away. Her legs feel weak at the closeness and the knowledge of what she must do.

Maura put her hands on Jane's shoulders feeling the bare skin under them, not helping the situation much but helping to steady her. But she was now also holding Jane against her own body.

She had to pry her tongue from the roof of her now dry mouth to answer in a barely audible whisper, "No."

And Jane did the worst thing imaginable. She leaned away and looked into Maura's eyes to read her.

"Jane. I...I have to do something."

"What?" Jane replies softly like a whisper, her eyes searching Maura's.

"It won't make sense and I don't want you to hate me."

Jane furrows her brow.

"You won't leave?"

Jane smiles a tiny bit, like the very idea might be ridiculous, "I won't leave."

"You promise?"

"Maur, what is it?"

"Promise me Jane."

"I won't leave Maura. Please...what's wrong?"

Maura reaches her hand to Jane's neck ignoring the raised eyebrows. She has to make sure she does what she has too, and that Jane won't pull away and run.

She can feel the muscles in Jane's neck tighten. This creature in front of her is so much stronger than her, is it possible that she could even hold onto Jane if she decided to leave.

"Don't move." Maura whispers and then she lifts herself onto her toes moving her face closer and closer to Jane's, she won't close her eyes, she has to watch Jane's reaction.

Jane's eyes widen and she leans back almost pulling Maura with her and Maura realizes she could never stop Jane..

"Don't...please." Maura begs softly pausing where she is, giving Jane a moment to catch up, to get her head around what's about to happen, praying silently she won't be left standing completely alone any second.

She goes to move forward again but feels Jane's hand press against her chest. She knows Jane isn't looking but the hand is pressing firmly against her right breast.

Her heart sinks in fear.

Jane's hand vanishes from her chest and she is about to proceed to kiss her again when she feels the phone being tugged from her hand. She opens her eyes to Jane reading the text message.

Maura whispers "I'm sorry.". She doesn't know what failure will mean.

And what about their friendship, their trust. She never told Jane about the messages, the phone.

Jane looks angry and steps backwards.

"Jane...don't leave. I..please...just kiss me. It won't mean anything."

"I won't leave." Jane says croakily.

Maura closes her eyes and shakes her head slowly, "I don't want to find out what happens if I don't do this. I'm so scared."

Suddenly fingers graze her cheek gently.

"Nothing bad will happen. You don't have to do this."

"How do you know?"

"I just know."

"I can't take that risk Jane. I can't fail."

Jane scowls for a moment in thought as a dozen feelings come and go.

"It's a joke Maur. I'm sorry. It's my fault."

"What?"

"The texts Maur. They aren't real. It's a prank."

"You don't understand Jane. This isn't a joke. Please. Please don't fight me. For once in your life just humor me and do this for me."

"It's me that's been texting you Maur."

Maura pauses for a moment, her heart feeling like it's on the verge of slowing down.

"You texted me to tell me to kiss you?"

"No. No I was texting you before...this has to be from Frankie."

Maura shakes her head sadly, "I am really that repulsive that you would make up a story to avoid kissing me."

"God no Maur. No. You are stunning, and beautiful, and trust me...very very desirable."

"Then stop thinking about it and just let me do this."

"It's not that Maur. I am confessing to you...there is no perp...no danger...you don't have to kiss me."

Maura takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly, her eyes boring into Janes.

"Maybe I want to kiss you." Maura whispers.

Jane can't decide if Maura is trying to trick her into following the text.

Jane also can't help but notice how much she doesn't hate the idea, how desirable she suddenly feels herself.

"Ok." Jane whispers and works very hard to hide any smile.

"Ok?" Maura raises her eyebrows, "Ok what?"

Jane doesn't reply as she focuses on Maura's lips and leans towards them.

Maura can't help but close her eyes again. Relief. Instinct.

Momentary weakness.

She can feel Jane's breath against her lips.

She can't feel anything else.

* * *

...to be continued...


	8. Chapter 8

Ooopppsss...I only announced my surgery on "light up"...Sorry, you didn't miss it. I had planned to finish and post this whole story along with my announcement before my surgery but I ran out of time. Hence why I don't have to write much to finish it, thankfully. It was soooo close to being finished five weeks ago :) I'm still not inspired to write anything **new** but tidying this one is helping a bit :D  
The comment/question about 'who drove Maura's car back from the stakeout. - _Frankie pulled around and picked Jane and Maura up, then he drove to Maura's Prius that was parked nearby. Jane helped Maura transfer into the passenger seat and then Jane drove Maura and Maura's car back to Maura's house. Frankie drove the unmarked back to the station._ (Funny...I had thought about this car thing myself when I wrote the first version but then deleted it...Guess i should have kept it) _At Maura's house, upstairs in her room, Maura talked Jane through treating her few minor skin abrasions using the medical kit from her bathroom. She told Jane about the uses of iodine and also honey and remarked on Jane's wonderful bedside manners. Jane couldn't be more delicate and tender as she worked on every scratch Maura managed to find, and Maura was searching as she enjoyed the attention, however Jane couldn't enjoy the closeness of the situation because of how bad she felt about tackling Maura to the ground in the first place. Jane was not reprimanded by Cavinaugh but there was some teasing about 'tackling your friends' going around BPD for awhile._ Hope that tickles your imagination and answers your questions :)  
Feel free to ask anything else. Thank you for your comments and reviews. Loving them sooo much.  
Please please don't hate me for what comes next...I promise I will fix it.  
Love you all.  
XXX JAM XXX

* * *

CHAPTER 8

* * *

Jane half expected something to interrupt them as she began leaning towards Maura. She wondered why Maura's eyes were closed while noticing how long her delicate blonde lashes really were.

She silently prayed nothing would interrupt them because there had been so many times in the past she had felt a pull towards kissing Maura, especially lately, but had found some excuse not to.

She perhaps should have felt a pang of guilt but was able to push it down for, as Maura would put it, scientific investigation. This might allow them both to know if there ever would be or could be more between them.

And for a moment she panicked because she didn't know how to kiss maura. A peck?...but not a 'you're family peck' like she got at Christmas from relatives when she was little. Lips open? but not too much to be a passionate lover. How much was too much or not enough.

She licks her lips to moisten them giving herself a split second to decide.

Her lips touch Maura's at the same moment she settles on a gentle approximately 3 second press together. About enough to see if there was more than friends without being too forward.

But as they touch her nerve endings electrify and it sends bolts of energy to her brain. She closes her eyes and her hands slide around Maura's back. Her lips begin to act on their own, moving gently against Maura's, across them, sending further feelings over her entire body, ones she likes and she wants more of it. Her brain couldn't time three seconds even if she bothered to try.

Maura, only expecting a peck, begins to also move her lips softly against Jane's, her brain scrambling to put her thoughts and feelings together and somehow epically failing.

Her thoughts seem to float around inside her head but her heart won't let them make sense to her. She can't think, only react. Her hands slide across Janes bare strong shoulders and up her slender neck stopping at the nape and holding on as is she is a life-line. Grounding her as if she might have floated away otherwise.

Her lower body, of its own accord, presses into Jane and she can feel a soft low moan moving through her chest towards her mouth and she manages to stifle with a breath.

It is slow motion and wonderful and she feels like she is floating. Everything tingles and parts of her heat up like fire. She prays it will never end.

Jane's starts to feel like if it goes on too much longer, the sensations may be too much for her physically, and so she gradually pulls away. Grateful and regretful.

An ocean of phantom sensations left behind for them both.

Maura opens her eyes and looks up at Jane. Jane's eyes are still closed and she looks peaceful, like she is waking from the perfect dream. Her lips moist and still a little bit open still.

And Maura is sure she now knows what love feels like, what love looks like. She reaches her thumb and brushes the lingering moisture off Jane's bottom lip, she can't think what possessed her to do it. Jane's eyes burst open and she pulls away quickly almost dropping Maura onto the ground.

"It's okay." Maura promises almost breathlessly, "We are okay."

"O-okay. Yeah...yep...we are, we are okay." Jane replies, relaxing just a little. She lets out a shaky breath and attempts to smile but only manages to look slightly amused. Then she frowns allowing frustration to seep through, "I'm sorry Maura."

Maura frowns, "Huh? What?"

Jane clenches her jaw and turns to look behind her, there is no-one there.

"Check your phone."

Maura fumbles with it before she manages to looks at it properly, "Nothing."

Jane sighs out her nostrils causing them to flare and Maura feels a heavy weight settle on her heart. She hopes it is just the situation that has Jane upset.

"Maura...stay here, I'll be back in a minute."

"Wait Jane..."

Jane turns to face her halfway out the door.

"What?"

"What are you sorry for? Did I...that was...it was...I'm confused."

Jane smiles weakly, she wasn't born yesterday, "I am _not_ sorry about what just happened Maura. I will be right back...I promise."

And Jane vanishes into the hallway leaving Maura alone to contemplate what just transpired between them.

She intakes a deep breath and chews on her lip.

How can it be that one kiss meant more to her than all the sexual encounters of her entire life put together. That can't be right.

How can it be that Jane's lips are now all she can think about. Still feel.

She wishes she was as confident as Jane to say she didn't regret it.

She wonders what Jane i _s_ sorry about and why she had to leave. Was it about the unsub.

She pushes the door open and looks down the hallway.

Jane doesn't look like all she can think about is their kiss. She is on the phone, she is angry, pacing, pushing her hand through her hair one minute and rubbing the back of her neck the next. Maura's hand goes to her heart, disappointment mixed with concern.

She can hear Jane's low husky voice, deeper than it usually is, and she can make out some of what's said.

 _"_ _No more...No..."_

 _A pause._

 _"_ _What the hell were you playing at...shit...I could kill you..."_

Jane leans her back against the wall letting her head drop forward into her hand.

 _"_ _No...she knows...I told her alright...just turn it off...we are done..."_

There is a long pause before Jane speaks again.

 _"_ _It don't know how she feels...but it's not your business...you still owe me..."_

Another pause and Jane rubs her eyebrows as she taps her foot on the floor.

 _"_ _No I haven't forgiven you...you have absolutely no idea what you've done. No. I have to go...No...Fuck you."_

Jane drops her phone into her her bag then throws her palm flat against the empty wall angrily causing a loud hollow thud and also causing Maura to jump and step backwards closing the door quickly with a thud.

Jane reappears with a softer frown than she had in the hall and Maura tries to keep her face normal.

"Sorry." Jane says with an apologetic concerned look.

"You are mad Jane?"

"No." Jane's voice is gravelly and sad.

"You're lying." Maura replies with a deep frown.

"I'm not mad at you...Maur."

Maura shrugs weakly trying to brush off the thoughts and feelings attacking her mind.

"I just...I felt..." Maura starts not sure how her own sentence will end.

"I will sort this out. I promise." Jane says softly reaching out to squeeze Maura's shoulder gently.

"Did I do something...wrong?"

Jane shakes her head side to side and smiles warmly, softly.

Maura feels a bit sick and she isn't sure why, "I think...I um...I feel a bit flustered right now."

"Well...you still look beautiful." Jane says with eyes like penetrating dark orbs.

"I...Thank you Jane."

Jane smiles weakly and strokes the side of Maura's cheek, "Don't thank me."

Maura tries to read more into it, but Jane just smiles her perfectly beautiful but almost regular smile.

"I just don't understand why didn't you tell me about this Maur."

Maura opens her mouth to reply but doesn't get the chance before Jane continues.

"You could have told me that...that you got this...that you were being forced to...oh crap...me...I did this...I forced you."

Jane drops her smile and her head drops sadly, "I am so so sorry Maura."

Maura frowns, "Jane. Please don't. It wasn't a mistake."

"I...this is my fault.."

"No." Maura pleads, "Stop saying sorry unless you plan to tell me what you are sorry for."

Jane leans in closer, "It is my fault...because..." she pauses, is this really the moment she confesses, she tells Maura it was all her. Well except for the last few texts. Standing this close after just sharing a kiss, was this the moment their friendship would never be the same, was this the moment Maura would never trust her again, "Damn you Frankie." Jane mumbles under her breath before looking up into slightly bewildered hazel eyes.

"Frankie?"

"No, forget that Maur. I told you before...I am coming clean...this _is_ my fault."

"You aren't drunk Jane...I can tell."

"No. I'm not. Try to listen Maur-"

Maura moves even closer, it reminds her of that moment in the alleyway, close and desperate. She can feel her heart speed up in anticipation. Something about those dark pools staring at her with slightly arched and pulled together eyebrows causes a sense of unease, like she will not like what she is about to hear.

"I never meant for this to happen. Not like this. It got away from me. I...I..."

Why is this so hard Jane wonders. Is it giving this up, these almost intimate moments, is that what she is really scared of. Or Maura never speaking to her again. Perhaps it's equal parts of both.

"I loved every moment we spent together. Every second. I promise Maur- I swear I never meant to hurt you. I-"

"Wait Jane."

Jane pauses, "What?"

Maura tries to quickly fathom how to put into words her thoughts, she is more afraid of Jane hating that they kissed than whoever is listening in on them. Mostly she is wondering why she perhaps...enjoyed it. Did she. "Jane. I don't...I think...I think I'm not upset."

Jane blinks a few times as if she can force that to make sense, she can't, "Huh? Upset at what? At what I did?"

Maura glances at Jane's lips and away down to the ground.

And for a moment Jane thinks Maura doesn't hate her for what she has done.

"I have loved spending so much time with you. I would only be upset if you hated it."

Jane raises an eyebrow, "Hated what?"

"Being together...and...the kiss...that...our kiss."

Jane frowns, "I - uh - I didn't hate it at all."

"But you were angry out in the hall after."

"No Maura...I am angry at myself. Kissing you was...uh...ni- not upsetting at all." She cringes at herself, she had almost said nice. It was nice. But if Maura knew how it came about.

"Then I don't understand why are you apologizing."

Jane sighs in frustration and takes both Maura's hands between hers like a plea, "Work with me here Maura, because we don't seem to be talking about the same thing right now."

Maura nods and scrunches her face to show she fully concentrating.

"Forget the kiss...well don't forget it...but for now put it aside...I need to tell you something important."

Jane licks her lips and can still remember the taste of Maura on them causing her to feel both elated and saddened.

"Forgive me..." Jane starts again. All her thoughts and feelings tangled into a loop of guilt. "Because I tried to play a joke on you and it has backfired."

Maura presses her lips together and squints. Jane can tell she hasn't quite pieced it together yet.

"I tried to prank you Maur."

Maura raises her eyebrows, "You tried...did you fail?"

"You're right...poor choice of words. The person that was after me isn't real. I made it up. All of it."

"You don't have to protect me from the truth Jane."

"But that's the thing Maura. I'm not protecting you. This _is_ the truth. I did a bad thing...All those things we did is because I made you do them."

"I can't..."

Jane blinks and frowns deeply, patiently.

Maura looks up, her own frown, and looking into those dark eyes, Jane still holding her hands.

"You're lying...Jane..."

"I'm really sorry Maura."

"I did all those things with you because I wanted to."

"Maura," Jane draws even closer, "Think for a minute. You did them because you were scared for me."

Maura leans back against the wall with a frown.

"It was fun Maur, that's why I didn't stop what I was doing. I know that's no excuse. I should have ended it, or never have done it in the first place but...I really liked...no...I loved it...I couldn't stop, I think I got addicted to you. I think...I think I love..." Jane licks her lips and studies Maura's face for a second, "I think I love you."

Maura frowns, "You _did_ want to kiss me." she asks weakly.

"I didn't send _that_ text Maur. I would never manipulate you to do anything like that...not against your will."

"Would you...would you do it again? Would you want too...?"

"Do what again?...Maura...Maur- are you o-ok?"

Maura could feel the edges of her vision darkening for awhile now but it starts to take over, she might have stopped breathing completely, or she was breathing too fast. Her legs are like jelly and began to give way under her, even while Jane was talking.

She hears Jane call her name and then call for help. And as everything fades to black, she wonders why Jane would have been so hell bent for all this time on hiding her feelings.

* * *

Maura wakes with the sensation of two fingertips grazing her temple and running along her skull behind her ear.

She doesn't open her eyes for a moment enjoying the sensation even if she doesn't understand the reason for it.

She remembers her mother doing the same thing once when she was very small and very sick.

She likes it's comfort and warmth.

Like a promise everything is ok.

She doesn't need to look to know she is at home on her own bed in her own bedroom. She can tell she is not naked under the sheets but not fully dressed either. The smells and sounds and sensations surround her on all sides. She is familiar with them all. Her ticking clock, the hum of the ventilation system, even the dripping from the bathroom tap she has to get fixed, the fabric of her sheets and the softness of her pillow and the sharp scratching noise of the oak tree branch moving against the window pane. The only thing out of place is the tender long fingers grazing against her hairline.

She knows it has to be Jane.

Only Jane smells like a breath of fresh air with a hint of lavender. And only Jane breaths just like that, short and quick out her nose and long in through her mouth.

Only Jane would dare touch her in this manner without her permission while she slept. And only Jane has ever touched her like that, strong and soft, and fearlessly.

The 'why' crosses her mind over and over until she knows she will have to look to find out why.

Momentary fear prevents her from doing so. Because the last thing she remembers is kissing Jane and wanting more shortly before her memories stopped. Had she blacked out. She vaguely remembers asking for another kiss or at least trying too in her own way. She couldn't remember what happened. She couldn't comprehend what Jane had been saying. She wishes she could remember and is sad the night ended so abruptly.

She slowly opens her eyes looking up, almost expecting to see Jane watching her...perhaps even undressed because who knows what happened. The thought only partially unwelcome in the moment. But Jane is mostly dressed, top half in a loose tank top, propped up on one arm and staring at the wall on the other side or the room with a deep and worried frown. Distant and distracted.

Maura feels a tiny pang of disappointment realizing that Jane is perhaps not even aware of what her hand is doing. The affect of her touch.

"Jane?" Her own voice comes out croaky enough to startle herself. She puts it down to dehydration, the result of the wine last night.

Jane looks down slowly, face still looking like she is a million miles away.

When their eyes lock Jane smiles softly, "Welcome back."

Maura chooses not to move, not to sit up...because Jane's finger movements slow down but do not stop.

"How are you feeling?"

Maura thinks she feels perfectly normal physically, but waking up like this was a bit surreal. She wouldn't dream of moving because as long as Jane doesn't move away she wouldn't want Jane to stop soothing her, touching her. She has never known a platonic touch more comforting than this in her entire life.

"I feel fine. What happened?"

Deep dimples disappear slowly, "Really? You don't remember?"

"I...uh...I remember...you looked amazing."

Jane raises one eyebrow and smirks, "Thank you. So did you."

"I remember...we uh...we kissed...I definitely remember that. I think...did we?" Maura blushes as she speaks.

Jane frowns as she nods, "Maybe I should get you checked out at the hospital. You fainted and a doctor at the charity checked you out. He said you were just fine..."

"I am fine." Maura says with a smile, "It's just...a bit fuzzy."

"Fuzzy...that's a word I've never heard you use before."

"I've also never kissed my best friend before."

"I notice you didn't say 'I've never kissed a girl before'."

"Technically I haven't."

"Technically? The plot thickens."

Maura chuckles, "There is not plot Jane. I kissed a girl when I was very drunk once and I don't remember it."

"Maura." Jane gasps, "It seems you may have a history of kissing and forgetting."

Maura moves just enough to lightly punch Jane in the arm.

"Oh you are fine." Jane laughs.

"I don't remember seeing a doctor." Maura says suddenly looking slightly concerned.

"You were a little woozy. You woke up a few times in the cab as well. Maybe it was to do with the alcohol."

"Maybe." Maura pouts softly but deep down she knows she hadn't had enough to forget anything, "Maybe someone spiked my drink."

Jane's face darkens slightly, "I hope not...do you...do you really think so?"

Maura shakes her head, "I don't remember having any of the known symptoms."

Jane sighs in relief, "So um...What...um...what else do you remember?"

Maura crinkles her forehead as she attempts to recall the events, "We were...talking. But I don't remember what it was about. You were...you were upset weren't you? I remember you hit the wall."

Maura notices Jane swallows and tightens her jaw in response.

"I'm sorry Jane. Please. Remind me."

"I was upset at something that had nothing to do with you."

"Oh...Why were you upset?"

"It doesn't matter right now...do you remember what I told you about the texts?"

"No."

"Do you remember the text?"

Maura nods, "I do..."

Jane tries to hide her disappointment. How could Maura forget both confessions. How could Maura not remember that she loved her, "Maura...I have to tell you something."

"Oh ok." Maura replies, then follows with a shocked, "Ohhh."

"What?" Jane says quickly, "Did you just remember something?"

"Yes I did. We...we kissed and then you were upset. You saw the text message. I remember that."

"What uh...what are you thinking Maura?"

"I remember you said you weren't upset about the kiss. Were you upset because I tried to hide it from you?"

"No Maur. Me being upset had nothing to do with you." Jane says as she moves her hand away from Maura's face and rests it on the bed between them.

"Were you were upset that we only kissed because of that text...that it was outside your...our control."

Jane forces a fake smile to cover her feelings, "Is that why you kissed me?"

Maura chews her bottom lip for a moment as ponders the question and studies Jane's micro expressions.

Jane holds herself together as best she can.

"I don't know. Do you want me to say no?"

Jane shakes her head weakly, "I want you to be honest with me like you always have been Maura."

"You are disappointed in me?"

Jane sighs heavily, "I am sad you don't remember if you wanted to or not...I feel sad for you."

"Is the text the only reason you kissed me Jane?"

Jane swallows. She wonders, if, had Maura really loved her back then she would remember the confessions. If she says no then Maura might reject her this time around. And the other confession...that one could just go away couldn't it. Maura doesn't remember it. She could end this prank how she originally meant to...without the truth.

"It's ok if it wasn't...because...even if I don't remember all of it...I do remember that it was _really_ nice."

Jane looks up from her own thoughts, "Nice?"

"Hot." Maura corrects with a blush.

Jane smirks again, "It was hot."

It was so hot that at one point Jane thought she herself would pass out from the amount of sensations that had coursed through her body. But she also knows that just because Maura liked the kiss, that didn't mean Maura loved her like Jane knew she loved Maura...not to boast her own trumpet but maybe she just was that good at kissing. She still wondered why Maura passed out. Maybe Maura wanted or needed to forget Jane's confession...but which confession.

"So was it? Was it the only reason you kissed me Jane?"

Jane needed more time to think. She needed to know the consequences of her answers.

"I need time to think about that Maur."

Maura does feel disappointed. Logic tells her that if Jane really wanted it that she could admit it. It was clear they both enjoyed it but that was a different matter.

But then she couldn't remember what happened after or what they talked about.

"Did I say something wrong last night? Did I do something embarrassing? Did we...um...?"

Jane raises an eyebrow, "Did we what Maur?"

She wants to ask if they did more than kiss but chickens out, "Nothing."

"Maur, you didn't say or do anything wrong or do anything embarrassing, you were perfect...except..."

"What?" Maura holds her breath.

Jane manages to keep a straight face, "You did fart when I was carrying you up the stairs."

Maura closes her eyes and blushes, "Sorry."

Suddenly Jane is close beside her ear whispering, "Why don't you go back to sleep?" And then she feels Jane's lips on her cheek pressing a gentle kiss, "Goodnight." And then Jane silently slips out.

* * *

Jane is two seconds away from pouncing on Frankie, pinning him on the floor, and forcing him to beg for forgiveness.

She has no qualms about tackling him and torturing him.

He steps backwards from his doorway holding his hands up to surrender.

"Give it back" Jane growls like a ferrel mother bear might approach a threat.

Frankie fishes around in his pocket pulling out the phone and deposits it into Jane's clawed hand before taking several steps backwards his hands still up.

Jane shakes her head, mostly to herself, willing herself not to be too hard on the brother she has been so used to defending.

"I'm sorry." Frankie offers weakly.

"I just don't even know what to say to you." Jane says as she stares at the phone directing her anger at it instead of him. "Why? I trusted you."

Frankie looks down at his feet.

"Why?"

"Jane...Nina found the phone. She interogated me. I couldn't keep it from her. She seemed to know what was happening anyway."

"Nina knows?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry Jane. She told me what to text. She...she made me."

"Are you whipped Frankie?" Jane growls through clenched teeth.

"No." He says as he drops his arms to his sides, shrugs, groans and nods simultaneously.

"Grow some balls and you tell Nina that she can _never_ say anything to anyone about this...ever!"

"I will. I promise I will."

Jane rubs her hands together pressing the scars into each other.

"Why would Nina make that the text." Jane asks herself.

"Did she kiss you?"

Jane grunts, "Shut up, I am never telling you what happened ok."

Frankie scowls not getting the hint, "How did Maura take the truth?"

Jane glares at him like she does her perps in interrogation, "She doesn't remember me telling her anything...so if you say one damn word..."

"I know I know." Frankie puts his hands up in surrender again.

"I should tell her again." Jane says to herself.

Frankie clenches his jaw, "Just end it. She doesn't need to know. Nina said Maura would forgive you for anything...but you have already confessed once anyway and, I don't know, maybe...maybe that was enough...maybe she can't know...just make it go away?"

The corner of Jane's mouth twitches in thought, "Maybe."

Jane looks up at her brother, trying to hide the hurt and disappointment of the last twenty-four hours. Her brother looks sorry, and pale. He knows there is nothing more he can say.

She also knows that this was her own doing.

She made Maura kiss her...she can almost feel Maura's lips on hers again. Lust and guilt, equal amounts fight head to head. She could have refused to follow through with the kiss and made Maura understand why, she had been selfish, she had wanted it more than she should have.

She has to decide what to do from here.

Tell Maura the truth, again, and thus reveal her true feelings and live with the consequences of Maura's wrath.

Or end it like she had planned to and then run away from it all like the chicken shit she is.

"However much you owed me before Frankie...now it is even bigger."

"I know." He mumbles.

* * *

...to be continued...


End file.
